Monday Morning Golf Recap
Alright so this is a new thing I’m trying out. A Monday morning recap of golf from the previous weekend. It’ll mostly focus on the tournament that was televised that weekend/has the best field of players. For example, this weekend was the WGC-Cadillac Championship. This post is REALLY gonna test the Devnest site with all the videos and vines in it. Oh well. Yell at them or yell at me. We’re all adults here.
Tournament Details:
Name: World Golf Championships- Cadillac Championship
Dates: March 5h- March 8th
Golf Course: Trump National Doral (Par 72 7,528 yards)
Location: Miami, Florida
Purse: $9,250,000
2014 Winner: Patrick Reed
Tournament Recap:
Here’s how the Top 10 finished
Before we get too far into the recap I’d like to send out my heartfelt apologies to J.B. Holmes and his entire family for firing off this tweet in the early stages of yesterday’s final round.
That’s how I genuinely felt at the time. J.B. Holmes shot a mother fucking 62 on Thursday and it was the sole reason he held such a huge lead (5 strokes) headed into Sunday. He shot a 72, 70 and 75 the rest of the days. He shot a 62 when the course average that round was 73. 73! Holmes’ first round at that course can stack up against some of the great rounds of the last two decades. Then I went ahead and shit all over his party with my tweet. But if he could’ve just shot par on Sunday he would’ve won the tournament. I don’t possess the mush powers that KFC does but Holmes lost his 5 shot lead in the blink of an eye right after I tweeted that. It would’ve been a wire-to-wire win but the 75 on Sunday doomed him. So again, I’m sorry.
Anyyyyyyyyyway, Dustin Johnson was the eventual winner of the event. Pretty amazing considering he’s only been back on Tour for a month and a half after his “hiatus”. That hiatus being the one where we’re all 99.9% sure he tested positive for cocaine and just happened to decide at that same time to take 6 months off to overcome “personal challenges” AKA he was suspended. Now he has a fiancée, a 7-week old son, his first PGA Tour victory of 2015 under his belt (9 career wins total) and is playing great. Everybody loves a redemption story.
Look at the guys who finished in the top three. Dustin Johnson, J.B. Holmes, Bubba Watson. What do they all have in common? They all crush the ball off the tee. Doral played right into the hands of guys who could go long off the tee. They were able to avoid the treacherous bunkers and water hazards where some of the shorter guys found trouble. For awhile yesterday it looked like Bubba was gonna win it but he faded down the stretch. Johnson has always been one of the longest hitters on the tour and it helped him post back-to-back 69s (LOL) on Saturday and Sunday to pull of the comeback victory at Doral. The story will be (and rightfully so I suppose) how Johnson came back from his “hiatus” and won the tournament and has his life back together. But at the end of the day, J.B. Holmes letting that five stroke lead evaporate on Sunday is what opened the door for DJ.
And here’s the young family sharing a nice moment after the victory.
Shot of the Week:
This one was a tie. Not only was it a tie but the shots happened within 24 minutes of one another. They were hole-in-ones from Dustin Johnson and J.B. Holmes at the par- 3 4th on Saturday. The shots were basically identical. Dustin first, and then J.B. a whole 1,440 seconds later. Incredible (DJ almost aced it again on Sunday).
Fan of the Week:
This was an easy one. It’s Little Rickie Fowler in a landslide. He didn’t even have much competition as far as I could tell but it wouldn’t have mattered anyway. Nobody was beating Little Rickie Fowler this week. He looked too damn awesome. Not unless Paulina Gretzky had performed a wet t-shirt comest on the 18th green after Dustin won. Since that didn’t happen, it’s Little Rickie Fowler.
Random shit:
-I already blogged this but here’s a collection of videos that’ll walk you through the entire Rory throwing his club in the water on Friday, a scuba diver then retrieving the club from the water on Saturday and then Donald Trump giving it back to him. If you missed this saga over the weekend, here’s your chance to catch up.
And then Rory pretended he was gonna throw his club in the water again after splashing another shot yesterday.
-I couldn’t find video of this but by far the most absurd thing to happen at the golf tournament this weekend was Donald Trump claiming he’s hit 6 hole-in-ones. I don’t want call Donald Trump a liar but he’s a goddamn liar. He just knows he can say it because nobody is gonna call him out at his own tournament. He made the claim during one of those awkward segments where the host/sponsor of the tournament joins the guys in the broadcast booth. They were talking about Johnson and Holmes’ hole-in-ones and Donnie Trumps just casually said, “I’ve had six of them.” Suuuuuuuuuuure.
-Fuck Johnny Miller. Just cause he’s this worst. If we keep doing these every Monday I’m just gonna keep saying this. I don’t even have to link to videos or vines with proof. You all know what I’m talking about. Not only does he have the most punchable face in sports television but the way he talks you’d think he won more majors than Jack Nicklaus and Tiger Woods combined. Today (like always) he kept saying, “This isn’t a hard putt” even when the putt he was referring to was for sure hard. Hey fuck face, you won two majors. Yes, that’s an incredible accomplishment but your shit still stinks when it comes pouring out of your ass. Never forget that.
JOHN DALY WATCH
We gotta keep tabs on this guy. Every week. He didn’t play in the WGC. Everybody’s favorite golfer played in Puerto Rico this weekend. He’s gonna get a big win soon. I can feel it.
Oh and here’s a massive Paulina Gretzky gallery
Again, maybe we’ll keep doing this on Mondays or maybe we won’t. Or maybe I’ll get hit by a car this week and then it won’t even matter. If you like it, cool. If you don’t, tell me to fuck my own face or something.
TLDR