Nebraska Congressman Gets Glitter Bombed In His Office, Calls The FBI

WOWT - Police, the US Post Office and the FBI are investigating after a “glitter bomb” was mailed to Congressman Jeff Fortenberry’s office.  The letter was received on Wednesday at Congressman Fortenberry’s Lincoln office.

It was a hot pink letter with a bag of glitter enclosed. The outside listed a fake name with a legitimate company, however the letter is not believed to be from that organization.

The letterhead read, “Glitter Bombs For Choice” and contained a message that said, “Congrats! You’ve earned this for trying to deny women their right to choice. Mind your own uterus.”

In a statement to WOWT 6 News, Congressman Fortenberry expressed the seriousness of the act, “Anyone is free to disagree with me, but to resort to these tactics in a heightened threat environment is reckless and a waste of precious law enforcement resources.”

Hilarious.  This whole glitter bomb thing cracks me up, ESPECIALLY when it’s some uptight politician who promptly alerts the police, US postal inspector AND the FBI about it.  Hey Congressman don’t worry, FBI resources aren’t valuable or anything.  They got nothing else going on, last I checked everybody on the Top 10 Most Wanted was locked up safely behind bars, think they just cancelled it altogether and declared the country crime free.  Better put them on the case to investigate the envelope you got full of glitter.  Typical clueless politician.  Seriously “to resort to these tactics in a heightened threat environment”?  Unless that’s super fun sparkly Anthrax, chill out.

To be completely honest though, getting glitter bombed is a total day ruiner.  Like it’s a legitimately awesome idea to fuck with someone.  Just the hassle of cleaning all this shit up, trying to scrape it out of the buttons on your keyboard.  Impossible to get off your clothes too, always going to be a few little sparkly pieces of glitter in random spots all over you that will keep turning up in the mirror over the next few weeks.

PS – Something so poetic about an anti-gay politician getting blown up by 10 pounds of glitter in the middle of his office.