Animals Are Really Starting To Rub Lockdown In Our Faces

At first I thought it was pretty cool that the animals were having a great time while everyone’s locked in their homes. Remember there was stuff like this cute penguin date at the zoo everyone’s seen a million times by now.

Or this great story about the one panda finally getting out of the friend zone after over a decade of denial.

But things have been escalating pretty quickly and animals are just being plain old dicks these days. For example, goats, the animal most compared to the Devil in witchcraft, have made themselves at home in a town in Wales according to BBC.

A herd of goats has taken over a deserted town centre, eating hedges and flowers from gardens… town councillor Carol Marubbi believes the lack of people around because of coronavirus has drawn them down. The goats - some of which have recently had kids - have been spotted nibbling flowers.

And according to CBS News in Yosemite National Park which has been shutdown since March 20th, bears are enjoying less people so much they are having a picnic party.

Now, that there are no people the bears are literally just walking down the road to get to where they need to go, which is kind of cool to see. Despite bears being intuitive about human whereabouts throughout the seasons, the ranger said encounters could be an issue when the park reopens."It's going to take a little bit of a learning curve," she said.

So I'm not going to Yosemite National Park for the next decade, because I'd prefer not to end up as bear shit.

And now mother fucking lizards which I’m pretty sure have been around before us and will be around after us are evolving! According to CNN the ‘three toed skink’ which is a great name for a band or a prostitute with frostbite, is pulling off trick shots while giving birth now because it’s so comfortable with less people around. It for the first time can give birth to eggs and live babies in the same birthing. Really flexing the old survival muscles huh skink? I can’t even bother to shower everyday, and three toed skinks are evolving.

Oh bonus one just for fun, we have an interspecies crossbreed sighting in Kenya. Zebras are fucking donkeys and creating zonkeys. That's neat. 

We really gotta get control of this virus and get back out there before wolves and tigers start breeding. Also how do you apply for a hunting license online? 

Twitter: @HardFactorMark