Has Anyone Fit The Snitching Cousin Who Also Moonlights As A Drug Mule Better Than A-Rod's Cousin?

(Source) Alex Rodriguez’s infamous “Cousin Yuri Sucart” threatened to expose the Yankee superstar’s doping secrets unless the scandal-ridden slugger coughed up “enormous sums of money,” according to court papers filed last week in U.S. District Court for the Southern District of Florida. Rodriguez caved, entering into a confidential settlement with Sucart on June 5, 2013, agreeing to pay Sucart one $700,000 payment for his silence, in addition to three more payments made to Sucart that totalled $200,000.

In a Dec. 18, 2012 letter, Sucart’s former attorney, Jeffrey Sonn, had demanded $5 million and a “life estate” for Sucart and his wife, according to the court papers. By then, Rodriguez was already embroiled in Major League Baseball’s investigation into the Biogenesis anti-aging clinic scandal that would result in the suspension of 14 players, including Rodriguez. A-Rod had previously made a limited confession of steroid use in 2009 when he said in a press conference that he had decided to use steroids provided by his cousin from 2001 to 2003.

In one telling passage in the 2012 letter written by Sonn, the lawyer wrote: “Yuri, even after he was accused of being a steroid mule for you, kept your confidences of all your activities while you played for the Rangers and the Yankees.”

JJ just blogged about the story from the A-Rod/Yankee fan perspective but I have to admit, I laughed out loud when I saw this picture of A-Rod’s cousin. I don’t think anyone has ever fit the description of deadbeat blackmailing drug mule cousin better than this guy. From the wispy mustache to the head to toe nike gear (even though he’s never seen the inside of a gym) to the bluetooth piece in his ear, this guy has it down. The fact that this is new news is actually astonishing. If I took one look at him and had you tell me he has a connection to A-Rod I would have immediately guessed he’s blackmailed him at some point in his life. You just don’t have a fat cousin in your shadows if he isn’t your drug mule. And a drug mule that looks like that has rat written all over him. The only person A-Rod has to blame is A-Rod himself.

Just look at him in this picture. Screams, I do all of A-Rod’s illegal shit for him and I’ve never had a real honest day’s worth of work in my life. It’s almost like he’s wearing a Halloween costume of a scumbag cousin who does shady shit, that’s how clear it is.