Anne Hathaway Reminds Every Person On Planet Earth Why Short Hair On Girls Does Not Work

I know this has been discussed before but it needs repeating. Short hair on girls is absolutely disgusting. Everyone last night was talking about Anne Hathaway’s nipples. How she was nipping out all over the red carpet. Honestly, I didn’t even notice, because the minute I saw that AWFUL haircut I was done. Completely over everything she was doing. She looked like a boy. A boy with big breasts and erect nipples, but a boy nonetheless. I know we are oft to hyperbolize on this site but if I was President I would make women cutting their hair short illegal. If you’re a woman under the age of 50 and you cut your hair like I cut my hair you go to jail. Straight up. No trial, no court, just jail until your hair grows back to its normal length. And that’s not just me talking, that’s every man who has ever lived talking too.

Because if you turn this…

Into this…

Then you are a threat to society in general.

PS

How about this line

” I know we are oft to hyperbolize on this site”

Wrote that, stopped and audibly said to myself, whoa, Big Cat, you’re really smart bro.