That Maroon 5 Wedding Crasher Video Is Fake Because The Internet Sucks And Nothing Is Real

Reader Email

Music video is fake. I auditioned for this. I actually got upgraded from wedding guest to groom after I showed up. The “bride” smacked me in the face with a bouquet of flowers during the audition. Absolute nightmare

They asked us to pretend like we’re dancing and then go nuts because a huge pop rock band showed up at our wedding…..

Here’s the casting call: please don’t use my name or info or picture if you use this

Cheers,

Mark

Man FUCK the internet. Can’t have anything nice anymore. Thought you can have one nice video? NOPE! Nothing is organic anymore. KNOCK IT OFF! Stop tricking us! Like I don’t care if you make a video crashing weddings, just don’t start it off pretending it’s real. Just don’t address it and we’ll assume they’re staged. I’m so goddamn tired of being lied to.

And by the way, I did have some strong suspicions that this was fake this morning. I’ll take you through my thought process…

1. Everyone is too attractive.

1.

Even the crowds are full of hot people. Crash enough weddings and you’re bound to bump into an ugly person. But I said “Eh, it’s LA and everyone is hot.”

2. This fucking guy

The black line chef at some hotel does not look at Adam Levine like he just saw God. But I thought “Eh it’s LA and everyone is a star fucker.”

3. These chicks

NO ONE knows anyone else in Maroon 5. Grab any person in America and tell them if they know the first letter of the guitarist from Maroon 5’s name you’ll give them 100 billion dollars, no one will win that money. Girls certainly aren’t taking pics with him at redlights. But I thought “Eh it’s LA and everyone is a star fucker.”

4. Billboard

I saw The Voice Billboard and was like Oh what a lovely coincidence. The show Adam Levine is on. But I explained it away by assuming they superimposed it on in post-production because I wanted the vid to be real.

But you know what it was that made me ignore all that, aside from the fact that I just wanted it to be real? The dads.

GREAT actors. Perfect “You’ve got to be joking. HOW MUCH IS THIS GONNA COST ME?!” faces. Get these guys Oscars asap.