The Giants Signed XFL DB Dravon Askew-Henry Who Is Cousins With Darrell Revis And Once Caught A Penalty Flag Then Threw It At A Ref
To Dravon: Welcome to Big Blue
To all the poor receivers on the Cowboys, Eagles, and Redskins: Welcome to Askew-Henry Island mothafuckazzzzzz
I don't know which of Dave Gettleman's four computer folks told him that the XFL existed but give that person a raise because picking up the best of the best from the XFL is clearly the new market inefficiency. Am I 100% sure what that phrase means? No. But I am 91.6% sure, which just so happens to be Dravon's PFF grade from his last game.
That's a pretty decent write up for the people that swear by everything PFF says, right? Yeah those numbers didn't come against NFL players but they most certainly did come against professional football players.
Now for the real hardcore pigskin heads that look deeper than PFF's numbers when valuing a player, I will have you know that Askew-Henr not only was in Steelers camp last year but he also received a 97.6 grade in my CFF system (Clem Football Focus). The formula for CFF grades are top secret, but I can tell you that they love being related to a future Hall of Famer, double last names are good because there always seems to be a player with two last name Troy Aikman likes in the playoffs, and D.A-H displayed not only lockdown ability but also quick twitch muscles, great hands, and a laser rocket arm.
Joe Judge said that he wanted the Giants to be a team that represented the area. Well name a more New York move than that. You can't.
Now I'm happy that the Giants are almost definitely not going to get Chase Young because having a pass rusher like that with a secondary that has James Bradberry, DeAndre Bake, Corey Ballentine, Sam Beal, Grant Hailey, and Darrell Revis 2.0 is straight up unfair.
Blogger's Note: In the 2 minutes between when I hit publish to when I came back here to tweet the blog out, there were already 2 comments despite this being 7:30 blog about the Giants signing an XFL player. Then I remembered that everyone has Barstool Gold which means everyone can comment. Welcome back you crazy fucks!
Blogger's Note 2: In the 2 minutes it took me to write that note, 6 more comments appeared. The Quarantined Comment Section is going to be a BEAST, huh? Jesus. If we could unleash you guys on bitch boy covid, Opening Day would go off tomorrow without a hitch.