What the Hell, Women of Vermont?
Et tu, ladies of Vermont? Et tu? I can understand almost anyone choosing one of their home state guys. I’ll even forgive Connecticut for Victor Cruz since they’re the Demilitarized Zone between Giants‘ country and civilization. And even the most hardcore Big Blue fan has to look at Eli as the neighbor you don’t want to have to your party but you have to invite him because of those couple of times he helped you out and he’ll never let you forget it. Besides, Cruz is a UMass guy so I’m sure that gets him a lot of votes among the former Minutemen coeds in the area. But what in holy hell has gotten into Vermont chicks? They pass on indisputable Pro Bowl players and the pure, white-hot sex appeal of world class swordsmen like Brady, Gronk and Edelman for… Drew Brees? The quarterback of a .500 team who’s 5-11 and looks like a balding Luke Wilson? And who by the way plays in Louisiana? And who, by the way, plays for a team that had the biggest scandal in NFL history? What’s that all about? I thought I knew Vermont. Some of my best friends are Vermonters. I’ve skied your mountains. I spent one of the best weeks of my life on the shores of Lake Champlain. I hiked your Mt. Mansfield and Killington Peak. I ate your ice cream and drank your beers. (Even those gross Magic Hat Earthy/crunchy varieties made with cucumber and crap.) I went into Burlington, smelled your Patchouli-scented hippies and endured the din of their plastic bucket drums. Hell, I tried to talk my kid into enrolling at Norwich University, right in the middle of your godforsaken state. But knowing your women would rather wear Drew Brees’ jersey than any of about 100 current and former Patriots, I wouldn’t want him dating your daughters. So sorry, Green Mountain State, it’s over between us. My next trips north are all going to be New Hampshire or Maine, where the women know what’s what. @JerryThornton1
