Man Escapes From Jail, Goes Directly To A Cop Restaurant Hosting Its Monthly Meeting Of Cops

NY POST — A burglary suspect who escaped from a Louisiana jail went from the frying pan into the fire this week when he stopped to eat at a restaurant popular with cops, US Marshals officials told NOLA.com.

Clement “Smiley” Leach Jr., 49, was busted Tuesday at Sammy’s po-boy spot in New Orleans — where law enforcement officers get a 10 percent discount, the outlet reported.

Look there's no Escaping From Jail Handbook. There's no Prison Break Manual. There should be, someone should write it. But at the current moment there is not. When breaking out of the joint, you gotta rely on nothing but 50% street smarts and 50% what you've seen in movies and TV shows. Based on their viewership numbers and simple math there's a very good chance that prison inmates have seen at least one of: The Rock, Prison Break, Shawshank, The Great Escape, Escape from Alcatraz, or — and this is my favorite — the modern day classic "Escape Plan" featuring Sylvester Stallone and Arnold Schwarzenegger, as well as Jim Caviezel and Curtis "50 Cent" Jackson (not to mention Escape Plan 2: Hades and/or Escape Plan: The Extractors, really phenomenal trilogy). 

So you at least have a starting point.

But everyone knows breaking out is just the beginning. Half the battle is disappearing into the real world. Keeping a low profile, going off the grid, surviving on nothing but smarts and grit, no credit cards, no electronics, possibly a highly experimental face transplant — invisible. A ghost. 

Unfortunately — whether it was nerves, confusion, impaired judgement brought on by low blood sugar or a reaction to new medication — Clement "Smiley" Leach forgot that entire page of the playbook. He didn't hot-wire a car, drive 100 miles to the next state, hot-wire a different car then a different car then a different car until he was in Montana. He didn't find a hidden cave in the woods to camp out until the coast was clear.

He walked an hour to grab a po-boy at the first restaurant he could find with a sign for "10% off to police officers" and every table full of police officers gathered for a monthly meeting of law enforcement. 

Sammy Schloegel, who co-owns the restaurant, said a team of roughly 15 officers pulled Leach from inside the crowded eatery, which serves up local specialties like cajun fried chicken, stuffed catfish and several varieties of po-boys.

“They instantly got him, surprised him, handcuffed him and took him outside,” Schloegel said.

The quick takedown was due in part to the fact that local US Marshals meet at the breakfast-and-lunch hotspot up to three times a month, Schloegel said.

Poor Planning Leads To Project Failure. Everybody in business knows that motto. Half of an elaborate escape executed to perfection, for nothing. Probably didn't even get to eat the po-boy. 

And because of that, you could say that Smiley Leach................

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...isn't so smiley anymore.

(via NY Post, NOLA.com)