GROUP OF DEATH MY ASS! (Quick Update - I Wrote This Before Portugal Scored With Negative Infinity Seconds Left To Tie It)

I’m new to this soccer stuff, but really?   All that mumbo jumbo about the group of death blah, blah, blah.  What happened?   USA just steam rolled right through it because that’s what the United States does.  We steam roll things.   Loud, proud and American.   Whose next?  Better question, who gives a fuck.    Choo! Choo!   America coming through!  Ghana got curb stomped and now Portugal.    Oh and speaking of Portugal are we serious with this Ronaldo cat?  My god he sucks. Just like I said before the game started if he wasn’t good looking in a girly type of way nobody would even know who he is.

Nice kick dickhead.

Who else is supposed to be good at soccer? I want them next. That dude in the Beats commercial? Who is he? I want him on a silver platter.  Yeah I’m talking about you bro.   Speak English.  Who are you?   You’re dead!

PS – Suicide Watch – Population Landon Donovan

UPDATE – Portugal scored with negative infinity seconds left and we tied so I guess I take back everything I just said?  Ummm when in doubt buy a shirt?