Turkish Delight: Furkan Korkmaz Is Here To Save The World One Monster 3 At A Time
All hope seemed to be lost. The Sixers had hit their lowest point of the season. They lost to Atlanta which was grotesque. They got beat down by a Kemba-less Celtics team which was infuriating. They got massacred by Jimmy Butler and the Heat the day after partying it up at the Super Bowl. Then on TNT, they got their dicks kicked in by Giannis and the Bucks while Chuck and Shaq verbally assaulted the shit out of this team and Embiid on the broadcast. Reports about players being sick of each other. Players only meetings. Chris Broussard running around like he knows a goddamn thing. Life as a Sixers fan was bleak and it seemed hopeless.
But when we reach our darkest hour is when we truly get to see our brightest star. And that star is a sweet boy out of Turkey who has nuts the size of the liberty bell between his legs.
Furkan Korkmaz, you goofy little bastard. RING THAT MUTHA FUCKIN BELL!
34 points. 7/9 from ThreeLand. 76.5% shooting on the night. 6 rebounds and 4 assists.
Now the only thing I'm worried about is how are Embiid and Simmons going to react to this? How are they going to handle Furkan Korkmaz being the biggest star on this team? How are they going to handle the fact that this team now belongs to the Turkish one and they're just here playing their role? Maybe this will be good for them. Maybe they've been fighting over who is the face of this franchise for so long that having someone else come in and cuck them both will just make all of that jealousy disappear. Did Furkan Korkmaz just save the night, the rest of the season and potentially the entire world?
You're goddamn right he did. And I'm just so glad he did it after he changed out of those hideous neon green shoes. I would have hated having to write this blog if he was still rocking those things.
Sürece Güven. TTP.