SexFit Is A New Gadget And Smartphone App That Tracks Your Sexual Performance

Engadget - It was only a matter of time before wearable technology moved from people’s heads andwrists and ventured downstairs. British adult retailer Bondara is leading the charge, showing off a prototype activity tracker and sex toy that goes on the gentleman’s region. The SexFit is a ring that sits at the base of the penis, trapping blood for better, uh, erections, but also packs an accelerometer and Bluetooth module. That way, your in-and-out statistics will be shared with a companion app on a smartphone that’ll tell you your thrust per minute and even the calories you’ve burned. Oh, and you can even share those figures with your shocked friends on social media. The hardware also vibrates, enabling you to set it at specific intervals, either for enhanced pleasure or so you can put the metronome back downstairs in the music room. There are even five LEDs that sit on top of the device that’ll light up when you hit a steady rhythm. Assuming, that is, that you’d prefer to use that rather than some of the more obvious clues that might be available during intercourse — although we’d find the idea of a strange glow emanating from someone’s genitals more unsettling than erotic. It’s worth mentioning that the project isn’t even at prototype stage yet, and there’s always a risk the company might pull out before completion, but at least it’s livened up a slow news day.

If you think I wanna strap a vibrating cock ring on and have my sexual exploits quantified you are absolutely outside of your mind. The absolute worst thing in the world is having any sort of performance tracked. I don’t care if it’s grades in school, reviews at work, or a SexFit ring fixated to the base of your penis counting your thrusts and timing your sex. Bottom line is my entire life is all about setting the bar low and creating the illusion that I know what I’m doing and that I’m competent and successful. But the minute you start throwing out cold, hard figures is the minute the smoke and mirrors all comes crashing down.

I mean the absolute last thing I need is a sabermetric breakdown of what my dick game is like. I’m a hustle guy, not a stats guy. If you look at my number of pumps and the speed of my thrusts and total time elapsed I’d probably get sent down to the minors. I’m more about the mood and the ambiance. When I’m about to cum I pull out and go the old classic route of “I’m teasing you.” I’ll resort to foreplay before, during and after sex if I need to. And to be flat out honest I need performance enhancement in the form of some sorta vibrating machinery. Anyway my point is that I’ve learned various tricks of the trade to get the job done that might not be pretty, but lets me skate by. I’m a lunchpail kinda guy in that sense. You throw a ring around my dick that doesn’t take all that stuff into account and you’re just not gonna get an accurate portrayal of how I get it done.

PS – For real though is there anything more impressive than who porn dudes can just hammer in and out, straight up non stop thrusts for like eternity? 15 full length, full speed pumps for me and its lights out.