Dude Dives Out Of His Moving Car Because His Girlfriend Would Not Stop Annoying Him

FIFE, Wash. — A local man decided he would rather dive from a moving car than keep arguing with his girlfriend Saturday in Fife, according to charges filed in Pierce County Superior Court after the girlfriend reportedly tried to run from police. According to the charging documents, a Fife Police Department officer was driving in the 3000 block of Pacific Highway around 3:30 p.m. Saturday when he saw a man jump out of the passenger seat of a moving car and fall into the street. The car drove into a parking lot, where the driver — later identified as 33-year-old Alice Finley — quickly stopped and accelerated to close the open passenger door. The officer could hear Finley yelling at the man, who was walking away. According to the charging documents, the man dove back through the passenger window as Finley passed and tried to wrestle control of the car from her while his feet dangled out the window. Finley drove into a parking lot, where she finally stopped. The man got in front of her car to block it, but she kept lurching into him in an attempt to scare him or push him out of the way, according to the charging documents. The officer got out of his car and ordered Finley to turn off her engine, but she reportedly refused. He eventually had to physically drag her from the car to arrest her. According to the charging documents, Finley told the officer she didn’t stop because she and her boyfriend were arguing and she didn’t want to deal with it. The man said Finley was his girlfriend of nine months and he loved her. He told the officer he jumped from the car because he didn’t want to argue with her anymore. The man also said he tried to stop Finley because he knew she wouldn’t stop for the officer and he didn’t want her to get in any more trouble.

9 months! Bro if you’re diving out of moving cars at 9 months you need to run for the fucking hills. 9 month is still in that honeymoon phase. You’re supposed to still like each other at that stage in the game. You should still be going down on each other and celebrating Valentines Day and shit like that. I mean this isn’t the first time we’ve seen a dude jump out of a moving car to escape his annoying girlfriend. We’ve actually seen it three times now. There was also the Asian guy who jumped into a freezing river and the other Asian guy who jumped off the balcony at the mall. The running theme here is that men will jump out of cars, boats, trains and planes to avoid listening to their girlfriends annoy them. But all those other dudes were married for a long time. They were broken, battered men. At the 9 month mark if you’re so fed up that you’re diving out of the car then you need to recognize that chick and this relationship is a DISASTER. Like Rust Cohle says recognize the crazy pussy when you see it. End this shit now because if we’re doing barrel rolls out of the car at 9 months we’re DEFINITELY talking murder/suicide by 2 years.

PS – I’m only like half joking when I say I could see myself doing this. There are times when I truly get crazy, crazy thoughts when I’m getting nagged and I honestly could see myself overreacting and diving out of a car. Maybe not going like 40 mph or anything. But slowing down at a stop sign or something I could see myself just bailing.