Dude Who Coined The Phrase Metrosexual Says The Next Wave Is Spornosexual

NY Post - The journalist who coined the term “metrosexual” 20 years ago says a new hypersexual, body-obsessed version has emerged. Writing in the Telegraph, Mark Simpson says metrosexuals are so mainstream these days that many have evolved into a new type of man — the “spornosexual.”  Simpson says it is a product of sport getting into bed with porn and the result is men who want to be desired for their bodies, not their wardrobe and “certainly not their minds.” Back in 1994, Simpson wrote a piece talking about the future of masculinity. “Metrosexual man, the single young man with a high disposable income, living or working in the city (because that’s where all the best shops are) is perhaps the most promising consumer market of the decade,” he said at the time. Sure enough, his prediction was accurate. Last year men in the UK spent more on shoes then women. It is no longer a sign of homosexuality to put product in your hair, wear colonge or take care of your appearance. Simpson says the spornosexual has arisen as society continues to destigmatize homosexuality. “Eagerly self-objectifying, second generation metrosexuality is totally tarty. Their own bodies (more than clobber and product) have become the ultimate accessories,” Simpson writes in the Telegraph. “This new wave puts the ‘sexual’ into metrosexuality.” He gives examples of rugby player Thom Evans, UK reality TV star Dan Osborne and UK Gladiators star David McIntosh as “spornosexuals.” Australian examples could well include “Bachelor” contestant Tim Robards, Aussie Rules footballer Buddy Franklin or rugby league player Josh Dugan. Selfie-obsessed “spornosexuals” will likely be found ogling themselves in a mirror, spending more time in the bathroom than their girlfriends and perennially shirtless.

Listen its hard to call out this Mark Simpson guy. He called the metrosexual movement. Thats no joke. I mean that word is completely commonplace now. Everyone knows exactly what it means and its a part of every day language. So if he says spornosexual is a thing then far be it from me to say he’s wrong.

But coming from a guy who watches a shit ton of porn, I can promise you I ain’t worrying about getting my body in porn star shape any time soon. I mean right now I can tell you the exact order of questions in the Girls Do Porn interview portion of the scene. I can recite the Casting Couch guy’s speech almost word for word. I consistently do google searches on Heather Brooke to try to find what shes doing now. And there is no fucking way I would ever be delusional enough to think I would get my body into shape like some of those dudes. My dick and my abs just ain’t ever gonna be in porn shape.

Also, if you watch porn and the only thing thats going through your head is like “Man I really wish I looked like James Deen.” Or “Boy that Manuel Ferrara…he must work out.” I’m pretty sure you’re a big time homo. So you should just be called a homosexual instead of a spornosexual. But what do I know. I didn’t invent the word homosexual.