Poop Girl AKA Gun Girl Kaitlin Bennett Gets Dunked On While Trying To Interview Students About Trans Bathrooms

Poop Girl AKA Gun Girl AKA Kaitlin Bennett is apparently still at it, slithering around the Kent State campus like the brain washed snake that she is trying to make viral videos for the right wing gun nuts who hate anything and anyone that isn’t their AR-15, a bald eagle, or the Pledge of Allegiance. Honestly it’s one of the sadder sights I’ve ever come across. She graduated 2 years ago and she’s still lurking with her microphone in hand and her horse mane fluttering in the wind. She’s like a Super SUPER Senior still hanging around school but instead of partying she’s just bothering people with annoying leading questions about how awesome it is to fire guns and hate people who are different than you. I mean it’s sad enough when you’re the guy who never got a job and still tries to hook up with college girls and hang with college bros because you’re too afraid to transition to the real world and abandon your glory days. But, it’s infinitely worse when you should have moved on to bigger and better things and you’re still trying to recreate your organically viral videos from years ago when the whole ass cat is now out of the bag. Maybe there was a time when MAGA mania first pooped off, excuse me, popped off, and Kaitlin Bennett was still “Gun Girl” and there was something intriguing and unexpected about a college girl championing gun rights. But now the shtick is old, the element of shock and surprise is gone, and everyone smells you coming a mile away because, oh yea, the world knows you pooped your pants.

Her latest attempt is going viral for all the wrong reasons, as it’s basically just a slew of people who do not give a shit about this poop bandit and her agenda. We start with our Cis Male King. This answer right here is exaclty how the average straight white male - and really humans of all types everywhere - should respond when asked a complicated question about a topic that does not affect them:

The Marshawn Lynch game plan. "I dont really care." "I don't know." "Thats their business." For every fella out there with rosacea cheeks wearing a large quarter zip when maybe he should be wearing an XL...take notes. And I say that with love. I mean no disrespect. I'm just trying to paint the picture that this dude right here is everyman. He is you. You are him. I am you. We are all regular ass men, and we should all aspire to be as indifferent as he is. Do you have to go to a parade or a rally and chant that men deserve tampons? No, no you do not. As a matter of fact you may not agree with this tampon situation at all. Personally, I don’t understand it one single bit. Are tee talking about penises? New surgically created VJ’s? Where’s the blood coming from? Are we talking about a person who elected to kick and they’re going from left to right on your television screen? Or are the going right to left? You may have the same ignorant questions and/or opinions I do. But you also dont have to ask them and talk about them! You don’t have to put your foot in your mouth and try to speak on topics you're not informed on and live up to our pretty shitty reputation. Minding your own business is the easiest thing in the world to do, it goes such a long way, and so very few people do it. This guy comes off as a hero when all hes really doing is only caring about himself. If we could just STOP doing black face Halloween costumes and answer questions with this much self awareness, white fellas would be great. Meanwhile Poop Girl is just swirling around the toilet bowl gasping for air trying to get some sort of interesting answer to make a good video. I particularly loved the "Should they seek medical attention?" I dunno, idiot. Do you seek medical attention when you bleed? Or do you just use a tampon and not make a spectacle of it?  The only stench worse than the poop in her pants is the desperation in her voice for someone - anyone - to agree with her and say something transphobic. But everyone knows her routine, hates her guts, and doesnt want to help her in any way. Which brings me to this cat, who truly does not fuck with Kaitlin Bennett, her guns, or her poop filled underpants:

If you're gonna take the time to respond, please be like Contestant Number 1. But if we're being real here, 99% of us are like this dude. He could not have pulled the plug (get it? Tampon joke. Nailed it. Thats why I'm blogging again.) on that conversation faster. "Hey can I ask you a question?" Uhhhh I guess. "So there are tampons…" 

PEACE. I just want to put this disclaimer out there right now in case I ever run into Poop Girl, or someone else doing a man on the street - no, you cannot ask me a question about tampons. Matter of fact, I'll extend that beyond just people making videos. A regular person - one without a microphone, one who knows how to successfully poop in toilets - you cannot ask me about tampons. Men, women. Vaginas, dicks. I dont know anything about tampons, pads, or periods. I have no answers, I have no constructive input. So, no, Rapunzel. Not today. I'm on my way to the toilet to turn 2, you should try it some time. 

Kaitlin Bennett’s worst nightmare and the final boss of this level, Contestant Number 3. She must face her greatest challenge yet - herself. This Weird Al Yankovic lookin cat, like Kaitlin Bennett from the future in her final form. That beautiful, fluffy mane, gently bouncing in the wind while he very logically explains to this idiot why tampons for men might be needed.

Again, I will tell you flat out I am not very educated is this department, but it sounds like Kaitlin Bennett believes there are guys in the mens room spraying blood from their dick like an unmanned firehose. Just splattering the 4 walls the ceiling and the floor with penis blood. Like Dexter in his storage unit. Like Big Cat at the 4th  of July hot dog eating contest being attacked by PETA. Like if you’re at Kent State you’ll see trans people walking around campus looking like Carrie at the prom.

The more I see these clips, the more I think Poop Girl is the one who doesn’t know what a period is. I feel like she’s pulling the classic elementary school move where you ask your buddy a question acting like you’re just double checking he knows the answer, but really you’re just looking to get that answer for yourself. That’s how I learned what condoms were. I asked the Big Weez and after he said “it’s like a baggy you put on your dick and…” I cut him off and I was like “dude, I know! I was just checking if you knew!” I feel like that’s happening in this video. She just flat out asks this guy giving me Patrick Bateman vibes:

Cash Rules Everything Around Me, CREAM get the tampons! Budget dollar bills, ya’ll! Dude just flat out says “uh, wh…what?” Which is where the entire world is at with Poop Girl. She had her viral niche, it ran its course, she continues to shove microphones in people's faces, and everyone is just like "wait, what?" Nobody actually cares about the topic at hand, they all only have one question:

I've posted several guys in this blog right here that all deserve some props. I called them "King" and "Hero" and commended them for fighting the good fight against a pants pooping, propaganda pushing pile of trash. But this guy right here:

 

Plucked straight from the pages of The Watchman "Yea she definitely did! Barstool's got the pictures!" Incredible. We actually dont have the pictures but boy oh boy would I pay a handsome sum of money if somebody did. Like I hope that somewhere, the negatives of those photographs exist. Fort Walton, Kansas, front pew, right leg. "Honey? Uh…you wanna know who really killed JFK? And also do you wanna see the pictures of Poop Girl at the party?"

I dont know where this story ends for Poop Girl. I think shes one of the most tragic cases of politics and social media breaking someone's brain. Shes been brainwashed and manipulated and thinks she really likes doing this and thinks shes making an impact. Deep down she probably just wants to drink spiked seltzers and chase boys and dance to Taylor Swift. Instead she makes pointless videos about guns and gays while perfect strangers belittle her for shitting herself at a party. I mean who the fuck wants to live that life? Dont get me wrong, I have no sympathy for her because most of her videos are just hateful propaganda masked by this idea that shes defending American rights, but its also the perfect example of how the internet and politics can ruin you. The craziest part is she doesnt realize that its ruined her. She keeps trotting her ass out there, letting the world clown her to no end, thinking shes an American hero. I dont even know what these video clips are or why they are available. She couldnt have put these videos out herself, right? How do these even see the light of day? I dont get any of it. Its all so puzzling. 

All I know is that I'm happy we have this internet content to watch while we all sit on the toilet at work. Pooping into the water, laughing at how stupid the world has gotten. Or on our commute, with a fresh pair of underwear not filled with poop. What a world we live in. What a world.