Everybody Knows That A Unicycle Is The Key To Getting Some Extra Silky Mitts
Boys. You're never going to get paws delivered straight from the Silk Road if you're not out there crushing some stick handling drills while wheeling around on a uni. This isn't the 90s anymore where some little Gordon Bombay triple deke is going to fool a tendy straight out of his jock. You've gotta put on a full blown circus show these days if you want to be a dangle god. And before anybody goes around saying this is "extra" or "unnecessary" or "just for Instagram", I hope you know that this was Nils Höglander just a couple short weeks ago.
He's a certified silk worm. Call him almond milk because he's the CEO of Silk. Obviously whatever he's doing is getting the job done. So for all you beer league legends out there who have aspirations of being the dirtiest dangler your B+ division has ever seen, tell the bar you're going to be a little late on your tab this month because you have a unicycle to go purchase.