Florida Man Arrested for Sexually Assaulting an Olaf Toy in Target
Source – A man has been arrested for having sex with a stuffed ‘Olaf’ snowman toy in front of horrified shoppers at a Target store in Florida.
Cody Meader was detained on Tuesday afternoon after repulsed eyewitnesses claim they saw him ‘dry-humping’ the large snowman toy from Disney’s ‘Frozen’ at the store in St Petersburg.
Meader then entered the toy department and reportedly proceeded to do the same with a large stuffed unicorn toy, a police report says.
Eyewitnesses told police they saw the man lay the stuffed Olaf toy ‘on the floor’ at around 2pm at the shop in Pinellas Park.
Authorities say he ejaculated on the toy before replacing it on the shelf and seeking out ‘a large unicorn stuffed animal’ which he also ejaculated on.
The defiled toys were later removed from the store and destroyed.
Meader has admitted to doing ‘stupid stuff’ and said that he ‘nutted’ on the toy. …
The 20-year-old has previously been arrested for a similar offense when he was caught picking up a stuffed animal from the shelves of a Walmart store in Brooksville and masturbating with it.
You know what the least surprising part of this story is? Besides the obvious “Florida Man” aspect of it, which we all would’ve guessed without being told. It’s the part where Cody Meader “has previously been arrested for a similar offense.” I knew that sentence was coming as soon as I read that he was.
If I can play amateur psychologist here, nobody simply dabbles in “nutting” on stuffed animals in stores. It’s either a lifestyle (i.e. Cody Meader) or you never do it (everybody else, one can only hope). You don’t just occasionally do it. It’s not like drinking, where you can be a “social” plush toy dry humper or only jizz on stuffed unicorns on the weekends. It’s more like heroin, where it’s your whole world.
We can only pray that these are the only times he’s done it. That he’s twice busted nuts on toys and gotten caught twice. But I think we all know those odds are not in our favor. No matter how good the security cameras in these retail chains are now, there are just not enough employees to keep eyeballs on the customers. It’s the byproduct of a full employment economy that you’re simply not going to be able to hire enough people to keep the beloved Disney side character toys pervert-free. And ultimately it’s going to fall to the parents of these young consumers of magical figure products to be vigilant. It’s up to them to inspect their kid’s stuffed animals for creepy Florida Man DNA like they check Halloween candy for poison and razor blades.
While I feel bad for the little Olaf fans and their parents, the ones my heart really goes out to are the employees of the Pinellas Park Target. I shudder to think of the human filth and utter depravity they have to put up with on a daily basis. But when the manager pages “Clean up in the Toy Department” and it’s your job to answer the call, you have to be thinking some one dropped a jar of salsa or something. Maybe worst case scenario, some kid puked. When the truth turned out to be much, much worst. “Removed from the store and destroyed”? Target, you don’t have hazmat suits thick enough or hourly wage big enough to get anyone to do that.