The Washington Redskins Have Been Beaten 9 Times By The Children Of Head Coaches That Dan Snyder Has Fired

Theres a old saying about statistics- 90% of them are made up by columnists trying to prove there point about why stuff they dont understand is bad. And in this case its mostly true. As we all learned from Jon Gruden, the only numbers a football guy should be concern with is counting backwards by threes in case your being evaluated for a concussion by a doctor who also has a concussion and dosen’t know that its supposed to be by sevens. If you want to get “number”, just ask offensive coordnator, Greg Roman Swipes and he’ll get rid of that sensation real fast.

However, there is a very important stat Ive uncovered after talking it through on Pardon My Take and I dont think its ever been quantified officially. The Washington Redskins are the only franchise in professional football that have had three seperate coaches sons return to beat them after the Redskins have fired their dads as head coach.

I coined them the Oedipus Rexskins because of the revenge factor that they build into coaches after firing there dads, and thats gota be a real motherfucker for Snyder. Lets take a look at the three examples we can use of the sons of former Washington Head Coaches Norv Turner, Marty Schottenheimer, and Mike Shanahan:

Scott Turner- Dad Norv Turner fired in 2000

As WR Coach Carolina Panthers

W 2011 Panthers 33, Redskins 20

W 2012 Panthers 21, Redskins 13

As QB Coach, Minnesota Vikings

W 2014 Vikings 29, Redskins 26

L 2016 Redskins 26, Vikings 20

Brian Schottenheimer- Dad Marty Schottenheimer fired after 2001 season

As QB coach San Diego Chargers

W 2005 Chargers 23, Redskins 17

As Offensive Coordinator New York Jets

L 2007 Redskins 23, Jets 20 (OT)

W 2011 Jets 34, Redskins 19

As Offensive Coordinator St Louis Rams

W 2012 Rams 31, Redskins 28

W 2014 Rams 24, Redskins 0

Kyle Shanahan- Dad Mike Shanahan fired after 2013 season

As Atlanta Falcons Offensive Coordinateor

W 2015 Falcons 25, Redskins 19

As San Francisco 49ers, Head Coach

L 2017 Redskins 26, 49ers 24

W 2019 49ers 9, Redskins 0

Final total: 9-3 for a .750 winning percentage

Scott Turner has a lifetime winning percentage in dad revenge games of .750, Brian Schottenheimer is at .800, and Kyle Shanahan nudges his lifetime percentage up to .666 after beating Washington yesterday 9-0 at Fedex Field.

So what is it about Washington that makes them so suseptable to getting their asses kicked by the progeny of former coaches? Perhaps its right there in their fight song which encourages them to “fight on, fight on, sons of Washington.” Perhaps its that the Patriots-on-crack culture of hiring coaches one generation to early instead of one generation too late is not one that should be replicated. Or perhaps its that the organization in the Dan Snyder era values the mantra George W Bush starting a revenge game against Iraq to settle the score, and that trickles down to the sports team.

So who else is on the docket? Both of Steve Spurriers boys are college coaches, Coy Gibbs is occupied with NASCAR, Jim Zorn and his kids are taking there talents to the Seattle XFL franchise and early bookmakers have them at -2.5 at fedex, but I woudnt put it past Deuce Gruden to enact the first Uncle revenge game at some point in the not so distant future. Now were staring down the barrel of a Cousins revenge game on Thursday, as the Redskins continue to be reminded that the famly that gets fired together gets inspired together.

PS- due to time constraints this is a abridged MMBM, but wanted to pass along a missive from everyones favorite practice squad QB Swag Kelly

Private First Class Swag Kellys weekly letter home:

Whatup whatup

Sucks being back at work. Miss me yet Denver if you didnt want me at my Virg you dont deserve me at my Chad. I love winning i really feel like im contributing for example i didnt spike the gatorade with 211 steel reserve before the game this time i feel like im really turning the corner. Andrew Luck keeps hanging out at work its weird its like bro you retired i stopped showing up for work at the car-stereo installaton counter the instant i quit after i got caught stealing head units.

Not that I root for injury but it would be kind of cool if Jacoby got like a mild injury or something so ya boi could come in and show em how we do it up on the swagro crag. I bought a bunch of huge, allmost comically oversized horizontally striped polo shirts this week to wear in case i ever have to talk to the media after a game success is what happens when preperation meets oppourtunity.

gotta bounce

Swag