Christopher Columbus Knew What He Doing The Whole Time When He Sailed To America

Happy Christopher Columbus Day! I hope you’re reading this from the comfort of your couch because your employer thought it was fit to give you the day off to celebrate the last man to discover America. Christopher Columbus was a lot of things. A racist, a genocidal maniac, a slave trader, a disease carrier, and thief. He was not a dummy though. That’s the common story. That Christopher Columbus was looking for an alternate route to India. A faster water route for the spice trade. Eddie and I talked about this a little on Dogwalk back in May

People don’t talk about this enough, but Christopher Columbus was in DEEP with the secret societies of the day. Father-in-law was this guy named Bartolomeu Perestrello. That guy was both an explorer and the head of the “Order Of Christ” which was the descendants to the Knights Templar, which…has supposedly become the Freemasons of today, allegedly. Mr Perestrello was a big swinging dick in Portugal. As a wedding gift Columbus got all of his Father-in-laws charts of the Atlantic Ocean. Charts that included the spot in Northern Canada and Greenland where a previous Portugese explorer had landed. The King of Portugal, who was tight with the Pope asked that a treaty be signed about what in the Atlantic would be owned by Spain and what would be owned by Portugal. He demanded the line be pushed West in the Ocean because…none of your business, apparently. And that was in 1481 and that treaty is eventually why Portugal got to claim Brazil as their colony when the rest of it went to Spain. The ruling Elites in Portugal which was a huge power back then and tied closely to Columbus knew about the Americas.

On the podcast we also talked about the Irish Monk, Saint Brendan. The guy who supposedly sailed to Canada and back as well. People call it a myth, but Christopher Columbus went to Galway, Ireland and studied his maps, story, and all of his other works. The Irish even built a monument to Columbus

Columbus was dead set on going and he just needed a story for the Queen of Spain who was financing the whole thing. They concocted the story you know about taking some silly fucking backwards trip to India. He probably assumed that when he got back and told her that they found this entire New World that she’d be cool with it

Queen: How was India?

CC: We didn’t go there?

Queen: Where’d you go?

CC: Well…America

Queen: America?

CC: Yeah it’s this whole other continent

Queen: Okay what’d you bring back?

CC: Uh…well, Indians.

Queen:….

That was his story and he stuck with it and because of that he gets to lay claim to discovering America and people celebrate him for hundreds of years even though he was a genocidal slave trading asshole. Not great.