I've Never Hated Anyone More Than This Smug Prick

I’ve never rooted so hard for an animal to be slain in cold blood in my entire life. Fuck this smug jackass of a mallard. This guy thinks his shit doesn’t stink and that’s precisely what’s wrong with America these days. Out here high-stepping at the 50 yard line. Thinking he’s the cock of the walk. Thinking he’s some big man on campus strutting his feathers right in this apex predator’s face. Well this parlor trick may have worked this time but if I know anything about the universe is that the cosmos don’t appreciate this caliber of hubris. He tries these Mickey Mouse tactics again around some orcas and he’s gonna end up being no more than a light snack. Just fly away you idiot bird and leave sea creature activities to the sharks and whales of the world. Cause when you lose a step in your old age some hot young prospect shark is going to put you on that Summer Jam screen. And I’ll be there, pointing and laughing right in your dead dumb duck face.