Kobe Bryant Says He Has No Friends, What A LOSER!

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“I’m friends with myself” -Kobe, probably.

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(Source) So how much are you willing to give up? Have you given up the possibility of having friends? Do you have any friends?
I have “like minds.” You know, I’ve been fortunate to play in Los Angeles, where there are a lot of people like me. Actors. Musicians. Businessmen. Obsessives. People who feel like God put them on earth to do whatever it is that they do. Now, do we have time to build great relationships? Do we have time to build great friendships? No. Do we have time to socialize and to hangout aimlessly? No. Do we want to do that? No. We want to work. I enjoy working.

So is this a choice? Are you actively choosing not to have friends? 
Well, yes and no. I have friends. But being a “great friend” is something I will never be. I can be a good friend. But not a great friend. A great friend will call you every day and remember your birthday. I’ll get so wrapped up in my shit, I’ll never remember that stuff. And the people who are my friends understand this, and they’re usually the same way. You gravitate toward people who are like you. But the kind of relationships you see in movies—that’s impossible for me. I have good relationships with players around the league. LeBron and I will text every now and then. KG and I will text every now and then. But in terms of having one of those great, bonding friendships—that’s something I will probably never have. And it’s not some smug thing. It’s a weakness. It’s a weakness.

BAHAHA, what a fucking LOSER. Kobe doesn’t have any friends??? HA! Boy do I feel awesome now. Millions upon millions of dollars, fame beyond belief, but you don’t have one good friend you can shoot the shit with? Man, I’m richer than Kobe. Straight up, I am better off than Kobe Bryant. Because money might make you wealthy, but friendship makes you rich. I think RGIII said that.

In all seriousness though I know Kobe comes across as sort of a Hardo here, I have no time for friends, God put me on earth to play basketball and never talk to people blah blah blah. But I actually understand it. It’s what makes Kobe great. His only goal in life is winning basketball games (and getting out of rape charges but that’s more secondary). It’s all he cares about. I can respect that. He’s a psycho, but I absolutely respect that. I’d also sell all of my friends for a million dollars right this second.

Oh and by the way, Kobe is definitely being honest here. How do I know? This line.

A great friend will call you every day and remember your birthday.

I have zero friends that “call me every day”. That sounds terrible. If calling a friend every day is what friendship is then I want to be a hermit in the woods. Someone should tell Kobe friends don’t call friends, it’s 2015. No one should ever call anyone period, that’s why text messaging exists.