Broad Not Happy Her Town Is Putting Concrete Cocks All Over The Place
CBS Pittsburgh – New traffic barriers, known as bollards, are causing some controversy in the Glendale section of Scott Township. It’s not the function, but the form. “When you really look at all four close together, they look like male body parts, which I don’t think is appropriate,” says Glendale resident Pat Martin. She raised the issue at Tuesday night’s township commission meeting. Commissioners Eileen Meyers and Pat Caruso disagree. “We looked through and found something that we thought was pleasing to the eye, but apparently to one person it was not,” Commissioner Meyers says. Six more of the controversial posts have been installed further down the hill. That brings the total to 10. Would they tear them all down? “I can’t imagine spending taxpayers’ dollars for a situation like this because somebody has a narrow mind,” says Commissioner Caruso. Director of Public Services Randy Lubin says cheaper options are possible. “Is there something that could go over top of these bollards that we could retrofit,” Lubin says, “and again there will be a cost to that.”
Pat Martin’s kinda got a point. Those are giant boner sculptures. Maybe a normal person without dick on their mind 24/7 wouldn’t have realized it, but now that it’s out there, they might as well take advantage. If I’m a shot-caller in Scott Township, I’m slinging ad space on these erections to Viagra, Cialis, etc. Free money for Glendale. Or maybe Director Lubin is on the right track. Throbbing dongs have no place in public & should be covered up. So throw a latex cover over them & secure it with either a ring or a couple of sandbags at the base. Now, your multi-purpose traffic barriers are also promoting safe sex & you can still slap on a Trojan logo for that local revenue. The town commissioners shouldn’t be criticizing Pat Martin – they should be thanking her while they erect more money-making cocks.