Barstool’s Weekend Soccer Preview – The “Soccer + CFB + NFL = heaven” Edition

Sam’s Safe Space for Soccer Stoolies

Hi Haters™,

Sneaky great weekend ahead. Not only because our long international (break) nightmare is finally over but also:

Wall to wall sports from 6:30am (CT) Saturday morning through to midnight on Sunday. Can’t beat it. Now without further ado let’s get to the previewing…

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ENGLISH PREMIER LEAGUE

Results from last time balls were kicked in anger:

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POWER RANKINGS

TOP 4
1. City
2. Liverpool
3. Tottenham
4. Arsenal
Honorable mention: Lester, Everton

BOTTOM 3
20. Watford
19. Newcastle
18. Norwich
Dishonorable mention: Southampton, Chelsea, United

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The table as things stand:

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And this weekend’s schedule:

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PICKS OF THE WEEKEND

United [-120]
Lester [+300]
Draw [+260]

Ever since the opening weekend ass-whooping of Chelsea, United has pretty shite. They are gonna be without Paul Pogba and Anthony Martial (among several others) and are up against a Lester team that has been pretty damn good – good enough to be legitimately pushing for a spot in the top four power ranking. The only thing that scares me about picking the Foxes to win is how much it makes sense. A little too much. Gimme a 2-2 draw.

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Wolves [+195]
Chelsea [+140]
Draw [+235]

Wolves have played FAR better than their three points from four games and 17th position in the table would suggest. Chelsea have been all over the place this season, sometimes looking absolutely awful and others looking just plain bad. The Molineux is a damn tough place to visit and walk out with points, and the Blues are very talented but extremely inexperienced… and will be without N’Golo Kante to boot. Sounds like a 1-1 draw.

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LOCK OF THE WEEK:

Norwich [+1700]
City [-850]
Draw [+800]

I don’t really think that Norwich have what it takes to pull out some sort of a result against this City squad, but the Canaries showed in their week one game against Liverpool that they will go toe to toe with anybody… which sounds like a recipe for plenty of goals, especially given City’s depleted defense. Gimme City to win 4-2 – and more importantly THE OVER.

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UPSET OF THE WEEK:

Bournemouth [+195]
Everton [+130]
Draw [+240]

Everton just got a HUGE (and impressive) win against Wolves and nobody in the world is more dangerous coming off a big result than the Toffees… unfortunately they are a danger to their fans and anyone dumb enough to put money on them. The Cherries haven’t been all that great and instead taken advantage of a pretty soft early season schedule but are getting healthy and catch Everton at a good time. Bournemouth to win 2-1.

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Here are some more predictions (to increase the possibility that I eventually get one right – maybe):

LIVERPOOL 3-0 Newcastle – One team is very good. One team is not. Easy peasy.

Brighton 0-0 Burnley – Two clubs coming off spankings at the hands of City and Liverpool, respectively, without a whole lot of offensive firepower going in either direction.

Sheffield 0-1 SOUTHAMPTON – Sheffield are off to a strong start but two strikers, Callum Robinson and David McGoldrick, picked up knocks on international duty (both for Ireland no less), which could be a bit of an issue.

TOTTENHAM 2-1 Palace – Spurs have clearly been a bit out of sorts so far this season but with the transfer window finally (mercifully) closed Pochettino can finally go about the task of getting everybody on the same page. Nothing like an ugly win at home to start circling the wagons.

Watford 1-2 ARSENAL – Watford haven’t been THAT bad so far this season but only have one point from four games to show for it and coach Javi Gracia, considered a god by the fanbase a few months ago, was told to GTFO. Yikes. Modern soccer is a fickle beast. The funniest part is the Hornets turned back to Quique Sanchez Flores. Dead cat/new coach bounce? Nah. Seems like way too much of a knee-jerk decision.

Aston Villa 1-3 WEST HAM – The Villans are missing some key players, including Trezeguet (suspended) and Jonathan Kodjia (injury), which may hamstring their attack a bit. Also, West Ham have rather quietly done some damn good business by signing striker Sébastien Haller from Eintracht this summer.

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LAP AROUND THE WORLD

GERMANY – Leipzig hosting Bayern Munich on Saturday (11:30am CT) should be entertaining as hell and quite possibly the best game in Europe this weekend.

SPAIN – Real Madrid and their traveling circus come home this weekend to face 4th place Levante on Saturday (6am CT).

ITALY – Nowhere near as good as last weekend but highlight is Fiorentina hosting Juventus on Saturday (8am CT).

MLS – Shit is starting to get really real with playoff implications across the board, including a must-win game for Chicago against FC Dallas, but game of the weekend is clearly Philly hosting LAFC on Saturday (6:30pm CT).

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So there we have it. Big weekend. Soccer + college football + NFL… can’t beat it.

Holler,
Samuel Army

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