(Now On Sale) The Lucky Floral Shirt That Saved The Cubs Season Is Officially 1-0

Carl 9/12/2019 9:06 PM

I don’t want to make a big deal about this but at the same time I’d be a moron not to write a blog on the 10th largest media website in the world about a lucky floral shirt I designed to carry the Cubs down the stretch. Again, not trying to make a big deal about it but if you give a shit about the Cubs or just generally want to have some luck, then I present again my life’s work:

I didn’t think it would come this far but unfortunately the lifeless Cubs have dragged us all to this point. What are we supposed to do?

A lot of people are criticizing my decision to go floral. They’re saying things like

slow down carl

and

stop praying outside a Ukranian church carl

and

you really think this shirt can save the Cubs?

Yes of course. That’s why I’m selling it and that’s why the Cubs are going to win the NL Central. That’s how secret weapons work.

BUY