If You Think Antonio Brown Will End Up in New England You Need to Get a Grip

Like most of America, I spent much of last night’s Green Bay-Chicago Punting Man Festival two-screening it. Because as compelling as a great defensive struggle can be, there’s a limit to how many 2-yard checkdowns on 3rd & 10+ that you can watch. And Aaron Rodgers and Mitch Trubisky combined to reach that limit with about five minutes to go in the first half.

Anyhoo, as Twitter conversations often do, mine degenerated into madness and stayed that way. Almost all of it coming from people saying that not only should the Bill Belichick do whatever it takes to land Antonio Brown, but that it would be the “perfect Patriots move.”

I’m not sharing the Tweets because I’m not here to expose anyone to ridicule. The pro-Mr. Big Chest people have the best of intentions. Unlike most of the people I know who cover the Patriots, I like my co-Twitterers. I’ve never blocked anyone. They are more than just 1s and 0s to me. They are God’s children same as you and me. It’s just that on this one particular topic, they are way, way off the reservation.

The joy of watching Antonio Brown’s latest public meltdown comes from watching him destroy yet another organization from within, not wishing he’d come here. It’s in seeing yet another franchise sell their souls to show love to an enabled, self-absorbed crackpot who will never love them back, not dreaming of how the Patriots locker room would control him.

Frankly, wishing for that is being ignorant of history. It’s forgetting that the Patriots are 20 years and counting into the longest sustained run of championship-driven excellence precisely because they don’t take on head cases like Brown. And for sure they don’t blow $15.25 million of precious cap space (7.9% of the Raiders total) on unreliable, mercurial manchildren who skip practices for mental health days.

I know where this conversation is going. You know where it’s going. You dog knows where it’s going. So let’s get there. “But what about Randy Moss?” you’re asking. “He was all those things and they traded for him and he was great. He worked hard and was never a problem.” Let’s get a few things straight on that:

1. Moss did have problems in Oakland in 2006. But his situation and Brown’s couldn’t be more different. The Raiders of the mid-2000s had struck an iceberg and their bow was going under the surface. In ’06 they went 2-14. It was the exact middle of a 7-year run where they never won more than 5 games in a season. Art Shell was about to get fired. Lane Kiffin would be brought in and last a year and a half. There was no end in sight because Al Davis was 77 and still running the operation like it was an analog world of land lines and snail mail. The AFL in 1966. And by then he was sustaining himself by drinking unicorn blood.

Antonio Brown has missed his last two games for going AWOL on his teams. The first was for the Steelers, who were 9-6-1. The next for Oakland, who were 12-4 three seasons ago and have a new coach and a new GM.

2. Randy Moss took a massive pay cut to come to New England. With the Raiders, he was making $8.25 million. And was miserable. So he agreed to tear up his contract and sign a 1-year “Show Me” deal with the Pats that paid him $3 million. After having maybe the greatest season ever by a wide receiver, he still signed an under-market extension that gave him 4 years with $12 million up front.

3. Moss did have problems in New England. Granted, it took a while. He balled out the whole time he was here. He kept the cap on his bottle of craziness screwed on tight. There were some warning signs around 2009, that leaderless, post-Tedy Bruschi, post-Rodney Harrison squad that was the least likeable Pats team of the Dynasty Era. He was one of the Tardy Boys who were sent home for being late to meetings due to a freak snow storm. (Note that Tom Brady was in early even though his wife had a baby the day before.) Though it wasn’t Moss who complained. That was Adalius Jetson, who was gone at the end of the year. Still, Moss managed to behave himself. For all of 3 1/4 years. A month into 2010, he was in the last year of his contract, the team was 3-1 and coming off an impressive win where they’d put up 38 points despite the fact Moss had no catches and was targeted once. And he was pissed. So he went off the rails. And was traded to Minnesota. Where he did the same thing to them one month later and was released. When you get 3 1/4 seasons out of a Hall of Fame WR before he goes nuts on you, you can all that success. But saying he never acted up or put himself before the team is flat out revisionist history.

4. The Patriots don’t win thanks to guys like Antonio Brown. This Dynasty isn’t built on “elite talent” or “great athletes,” for lack of better terms. At least not at the wideout spot. It’s built on an unbroken line of intelligent, hard-working, tough, level-headed, dependable practice junkies who know their roles and assignments and execute them. Troy Brown. David Patten. David Givens. Deion Branch. Wes Welker. Julian Edelman. Danny Amendola. Malcolm Mitchell, for the one year he was here. They don’t bother blowing all sorts of draft capital and money on guys like Antonio Brown because they don’t need to. They’re not what drives this offense. It’s not how this team functions.

I get it. Brown is a special talent. The mental picture of him high-pointing Brady throws into the end zone and picking them off the helmet of some overmatched cornerback is the stuff of wet dreams. But it’s also being ignorant of history. His and this franchise’s. This isn’t your Fantasy team. You bring in this clown, you’ll get a circus. He took a dump all over the Steelers and just threatened to beat the snot out of Belichick’s buddy Mike Mayock. And sure, you can be convinced he’ll never pull that nonsense here and I’ll agree with you. Because they would never, ever bring him into their locker room. So forget about it and move on with your life.