Getting Dunked On By A Girl Is A Hell Of A Way To Kick Off The New School Year

Nothing like losing every ounce of momentum you gained from summer break, your fresh haircut, and brand new first week of school clothes in 4 seconds flat.

Now before the Blue Checkmark Brigade lights their virtual torches, I’d like to make it clear that it doesn’t truly matter that the dunker was a girl who can clearly ball or the rim was like 7 feet high. Hitting the Bankrupt space of popularity the minute that girl dunked his soul through the rim and that banshee screeched on his grave is a brutal way to start another year of pencils, books, and teachers dirty looks. If you are going to put yourself in a situation like that, you better have a plan to either block the shot or commit a foul. Anything else is social suicide, Benny. Even attempting to draw a charge and flopping around like Manu Ginobili would have stopped this from becoming an old school Shawn Kemp evisceration.

Instead, Victoria Jordan gets a green up arrow on Coley’s Big Board as well as the nickname Air Jordan while the victim gets to sit at a lunch table full of air and nerds all because he got dunked on during lunch. Is it cruel and unfair? Of course. But that’s just how the viral video game goes in 2019 and how the high school popularity game has gone forever.