Seeing Mr. Met Without A Hat On Shook Me Wayyyyy More Than It Should Have
I don’t know why seeing this surprised me so much considering I’ve always known Mr. Met is bald considering he is a baseball and baseballs lack the ability to grow hair. In fact, I should be more surprised that he somehow grew eyebrows to go along with his eyes, nose, mouth, body, and everything else like some Chernobyl victim instead of him having a weird hair yarmulke in the middle of his head (shout out to me for knowing how to spell that correctly on the first try as a lifelong Catholic).
But for some reason, that hat always left jussssst enough mystery for it not to set in that Mr. Met was a Bald. Seeing that cursed image of Mr. Met without hat or hair completely shattered my mental image of him as well as answered the eternal mystery of if that hat was actually glued to his head. It’s crazy to say it, but him flipping the bird to a random fan with that cute ass grin seemed more natural than a bald head.
I’m not bald shaming though. I shave my head every two weeks. Granted it’s by choice instead of by necessity. But there is still nothing wrong with it because bald is beautiful. Chaps is handsome. So is Sales Guy. Nate Dogg took off his hair then instantly added some hotness. Same with the BOAT Blake Bortles. And Large is a downright sexpot that I occasionally fantasize ravaging as we record Podfathers. All hair really does is keep you a little warmer in the winter and maybe make you a little more confident around the opposite sex. And Mr. Met doesn’t need to worry about either of those things since he’s only working in New York during the warm months and he has the hottest chick in the game wearing his name.
Now here is the true Barstool New York Smokeshow of the Day:
P.S. I don’t think I’ll ever be able to unsee this.
If Mr. Met ever wants to change that situation up top and doesn’t have the money to do the Portnoy hair plug method because his owners are cheap fucks, I got a guy that can help him out.
