Finally, Someone Who Knows How To Properly Enjoy A Soccer Match

Somewhere in the world Diego Maradona just suffered a minor heart attack, before being promptly revived, out of an immense feeling of pride. It’s just nice to see tradition carry on to the next generations. Sometimes it’s refreshing to know that the more things change the more they stay the same. And soccer and cocaine go together like peanut butter and jelly. I will say though, this is as brazen as nose candy consumption gets. Forget the possibility of getting caught on camera – that was a 1 in a million shot. Just like, bro, go to the bathroom. Have some cocaine etiquette for me one time. You cannot be this uncouth with this echelon of intoxicant. You can’t be slamming it down in your seats unless you’re in a private box. Or if you have one of those crosses that’s actually just a small spoon and vial like Sarah Michelle Gellar was rocking in CRUEL INTENTIONS. But to frisbee it down your most northern breathing hole via credit card in the 40th row is to rob yourself of the proper level of luxury this moment should have encapsulated. I’m not mad, not even fully disappointed, I just expect better.