That "Old Person Smell" Has Been Scientifically Proven To Be A Real Thing

ATLANTIC – In a study published today in PLoS One, researchers report that young people aged 20-30 are able to accurately guess when a scent comes from an elderly individual aged 75-95. While study participants were also able to determine when a smell was associated with someone in middle age or in their youth, they were much better at smelling old people than young people.

Figures. I always thought the smell was just a lifetime build up of Brut cologne and death. Think the stench has to vary from funky to bad depending on how much shit is in their pants at any given time. Even though all old people have a smell, they all seem to have a distinct odor of their own that identifies them from each other. My Grandfather had the unmistakable old person musk of Old Spice, whiskey and racism that separated him from the regular pack of geezers. My grandmother smells like hairspray and bagels. My old neighbor on the other hand was a tad overweight and had the most unpleasant old man smell on the East Coast. The stench can only be compared to a combination of duck butter and Vladi Divic sweat. Great guy, just smelled like the Holocaust. Not a good stench to go out on.