Katy Perry Takes Nonstop Enemas To Try To Stay Young

Nylon - Katy Perry has revealed the methods she uses to prevent looking like she’s “getting older,” and they might surprise you. The singer doesn’t rely on a great face mask or a new treatment. Nope, she does “lots of enemas” instead. Personally, I would rather age gracefully with whatever wrinkles come my way than inject liquid into my anus, but what do I know?

According to Perry, enemas are a part of an ancient practice she’s gotten into recently. During an interview on radio show Smallzy’s Surgery (per The Daily Mail), Perry shared, “I’m kind of into those type of things, like health and healing places and self-betterment places.” She added, “Especially as you get older and you have longer hangovers you realize the cells in my body are dying.”

The practice Perry participates in is called Panca Karma, and she describes it as “basically Ayurvedic eating and cleansing” with “lots of enemas.” She claims, “You definitely feel more energy, it basically like gets all the crap out of you, every pun intended.”

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Hold on, wait a minute. Let’s do some quick blog math.

Katy Perry, before enemas:

Katy Perry, after enemas:

Ummm, Earth to Katy, the enemas ain’t working. They ain’t working at all.

And this is the most Hollywood thing I’ve ever heard. Some new, bullshit way they are claiming keeps them young and healthy. Hey Katy, get plastic surgery or develop an eating disorder like everyone else. No need to re-invent the wheel here.

Also, does this mean she’s just pooping nonstop at home with Orlando Bloom? They are engaged and things are going great……oh wait what?

Is part of that work NOT SHITTING EVERY 45 MINUTES???

I’m not a child, I know a girl poops once or twice in her life. I know it happens. But nobody wants their girl forcibly pooping and then talking about it in the magazines. One second you’re on a nice vacation in Mykonos but Katy misses the sunset because she is painting a Jackson Pollock

Freaking gross. Just be normal, you weirdo Katy Perry. Stop crying for 3 straight days on a livestream, stop shaving your head, and stop making shitty songs. Get back to the bangers and leave the enemas on the shelf. It’s not rocket surgery.