Matt Ryan's Sons Are Undisciplined, Selfish Receivers Completely Unprepared For The 2038 Draft

Hey Marshall and Johnny:

The “diva wide receiver” stretches throughout football history: TO. Keyshawn. Ochocinco.  Rod Tidwell.  Michael Irvin.  On and on it goes, the me-first primadonnas who scream “just give me the damn ball!”, thrusting locker rooms into chaos, keeping their coaches perpetually on the hot seat, slaves to their star players’ obsession with stats and bonuses.

And it looks like the trend isn’t going to change anytime soon, not according to this game film of two 2038 prospects Marshall and Johnny Ryan.  I mean they already have their showboat nicknames.  The Ice Cubes.  Bet they gave that to themselves.  Bet they demand Daddy call them The Ice Cubes around the house.  Nap time for The Ice Cubes?   Do the Ice Cubes have poopy diapers?  Not bath time yet honey – The Ice Cubes told me to put on more Bubble Guppies and screw.

All 2016 MVP Matt Ryan needed was a simple post and dover route to move the chains and put the team in position to seal up the Super Bowl with an unbreakable 28-3 lead.  Instead he gets Marshall running off to get the phone number of a fan in row 3 and Johnny going to demand a contract extension probably.

Matty Ice has his work cut out for him over the next two decades.

PS,

Feel like you kind of have no choice but to move to the middle of Texas and become a long-haired, hard-drinking, head-cheerleader-dating, pickup-driving, rocket-armed quarterback with a name like “Johnny Ryan.”