The Flyers Won In A Shootout. I Repeat, The Flyers Won In A Shootout

Flyers 2, Senators 1 (SO)

It’s been longer than a full calendar year since the Philadelphia Flyers won a game in a shootout. ALL OF 2014. They didn’t win a single goddamn shootout in that entire year. December 30, 2013. Most of you were probably still sucking on your mamma’s titties the last time the Flyers won in a shootout. Makes you want to find the nearest glass of Clorox and chug away. But on the bright side, the Flyers have never lost a shootout in 2015 so maybe this is their year? Who knows. Either way, last night’s game was another classically boring Flyers game through the first 2 periods. Pretty boring all the way through the game until the very end but they got 2 points out of it for whatever the hell that’s worth at this point.

Stone Cold Steve Mason

^He had a little help from his teammates as well…

Mase Daddy got shelled with 42 shots last night and he couldn’t really do anything about the lone goal he gave up during regulation. If you want to watch Mike Hoffman take Mark Streit for a walk and then finish it off with a beauty, click here. But Mason played out of his mind last night and stole a game for the Flyguys. Again, the team played like shit in front of him for the majority of the game. No chance in hell did they deserve to take that game into an overtime, but Mason kept them in and was huge during the shootout. He’s been one of the very very few bright spots this entire season so far.

Wayne Train

A goal, a fight, and the dagger in the shootout. Pretty solid night all around for Weezy F. Choo Choo, bitches.

#BanIceSkates2015

For the 3rd time in one week, a Flyer was injured by the blade of a skate. Del Zotto took Danny Briere’s skate to the throat on New Years Eve. Here’s the wound if you missed it but still want to puke today. Then Giroux took a skate to the achilles on Friday but thank the heavens he was wearing a Kevlar sock that saved his season. And then last night, Brayden Schenn got a little hungry and tried to take a bite out of Simmonds’ skate.

Schenn returned to the game after the 2nd intermission (that’s what you’re paid for, Brayden), but I’m getting a little sick and tired of ice skates trying to take out the whole squad. It’s about time the NHL did something about this issue. We need to ban ice skates in ice hockey before anyone else gets seriously injured. It’s barbaric to think that skates are still allowed in the game today.