David Wright Ranked #1 "Cub" In MLB by Cougarlife.com
NYDN – David Wright doesn’t play for the woeful Cubs, but that doesn’t mean he’s not the Top Cub in one fan group’s book. According to a poll of 11,000 respondents for the website Cougarlife.com, the Mets third baseman ranked the “hottest cub” among major leaguers, narrowly edging out Phillies southpaw Cole Hamels and Dodgers outfielder Matt Kemp. Who needs MVP votes and All-Star selections? The website bills itself as the “premiere dating site for cubs (and the cougars who love them),” but Wright’s smitten admirers should be reminded that the slugger is engaged to Molly Beers. “Our recent survey showed that many of our female members enjoy watching sports, and love baseball in particular,” said the site’s spokes-cougar Marlo Jordan. “With all those virile young men rounding the bases in form fitting pants, what’s not to like?” Nationals phenom Bryce Harper rounds out the Top 10 list, with Yankee Robinson Cano landing in the No. 5 slot.
1. David Wright
2. Cole Hamels
3. Matt Kemp
4. Carlos Gonzalez
5. Robinson Cano
6. Anthony Rizzo
7. Miguel Cabrera
8. Buster Posey
9. Joe Mauer
10. Bryce Harper
First thing’s first – how is Miguel Cabrera breaking the top 10? I mean, hell of a hitter. Best hitter of this generation probably. But old bitches out there really wanna fuck him? Looks like a overweight drunk Cabbage Patch Doll. But I guess when you win a Triple Crown bitches of all ages just want the dick.
Anyway on to DW. If the Mets were a winning ball club David Wright would literally run the world. He’d be one of the most popular athletes in all of sports. Clean cut, talented white guy who always says and does the right thing. Obviously thats a huge, huge “If” and can be said for a lot of guys. But just goes to show sports is as much about being right place right time as it is being talented. If DW comes up in the middle of a dynasty the way Jeter does, he’s a sports icon. Instead he’s just a $160 million man with a smokeshow fiance with old bitches lubing up their dry pussies for him. Still not a bad life. Just imagine what could have been if he wasn’t doomed to be on the Mets. Forever will be the most loyal guy I’ve ever seen for sticking around with his last contract.
