Grading the Newest Sex Scandal Teacher

New YorkA former Waterloo teacher has been charged with having sexual contact with a teen, according to the New York State Police.

Lindsey M. Halstead, 29, of East Bloomfield, was arrested Tuesday, the state police announced in a news release Tuesday. She has been accused of having sexual contact with a 16 year old in the town of Seneca Falls.

Troopers did not specify when the incident happened or whether the teen was a student of the physical education teacher. … 

Halstead worked at Midlakes Schools from Feb. 5, 2018, until April 26, said Superintendent Matthew Sickles in a statement posted on the district’s website.

She resigned as a physical education teacher on Feb. 2., 2018, reported the Finger Lakes Times. ..

“The school district is fully cooperating with the New York State Police and is unaware of any alleged misconduct involving Midlakes students or any alleged misconduct occurring on our campus,” he said.

Maybe I’m still just too wounded by what’s been happening and I can’t get it out of my mind. But I read this and the literally dozens of articles about Lindsey Halstead that the SST readers (SSToolies? Does that work?) have sent me and I can’t stop thinking that this is a Sex Scandal Teacher story if it was written by David Benioff and D.B. Weiss.

What do we have in Lindsey Halstead? Stunning visuals. Fascinating source materials. A great setting for some fantastic world building. All ruined by terrible writing. The character development is shot to hell. Her arc is completely ignored. We’re never given an explanation as to her motivation. There’s no build up to her breaking bad. Just one minute she’s on a quest to claim the throne of a gym teacher, the next she’s scorching the earth as Sex Scandal Teacher, followed by a long, boring expository speech about how nothing happened on campus. Which is actually the one thing that might make the narrative more interesting. If D&D do “Star Wars” what they’ve done to “Game of Thrones,” I’ll never forgive Disney. If the police do it to SST news stories? I say we riot. All us SSToolies*.

(*I think I might actually like that term. Tell me in the comments below if I should stick with it. This is a democracy.)

The Grades:
Looks: Those eyes. Those piercing, intense, defiant, lust-crazed eyes. If your gym teacher looks at you with those and says you’re playing Dodgeball, you’d pummel every living creature on the other side of that court with soft, rubber balls until they were dead, just to see a twinkle of approval in those. Like the rest of her story, I want more. But after a lot of searching this mugshot is all I have. It’s enough.
Grade: A-

Moral Compass/Bad Judgment: What have we got? Practically nothing. Some vague backstory. Talk of an incident of “sexual contact.” Where’s the art? The romance? All the little moments that explain a character’s growth? This is a real letdown on a narrative, storytelling level.
Grade: D

Intangibles: Ordinarily, I’d jump all over some historical reference to this being her Waterloo. But they had me at Finger Lakes.
Grade: A

Overall:

Do you have someone you want to see graded? Tweet her to me @jerrythornton1 or email me at jerry@barstoolsports.com. Your service to the betterment of mankind will be its own reward.

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