Are You A Moron Who Is Also Stressed Out? Well Then I Have Got The Product For You! Introducing A $75 Pebble

(gizmodo)–“Small, smooth, and discreet—the Moment Pebble acts as a physical reminder, a gentle nudge to give your mind much needed breaks throughout your busy day,” Charles Cadbury says in the launch video on the Kickstarter page.

Yes, it’s a fake rock that lights up. The Kickstarter for the Moment Pebble that when the Moment Pebble is available it will retail for £60 ($77.61 UD).

Hamish Grierson, CEO of the health-tracking company Thriva, trialed the fake rock. “I think it’s the first product that really actually delivers on the promise of anti-technology technology,” Grierson said in a statement on the Kickstarter page.

This right here is the ABSOLUTE perfect gift in your life for the person who is in the top 1% of earners world wide(or their parents are), but also wants the world to know how hard their life is and how brave they are for dealing with their anxiety with the assistance of a $75 glowing rock. If you’re paying $75 for a glowing rock, it better be able to do more than tell you when to breathe. It better be able to help you rip someone’s heart out like the only other glowing rocks on the market

And you know what…ripping the hearts out of the type of people who would own something like this is exactly what I want to do. I don’t have the Indiana Jones Sankara Stones though so the next best thing is probably to tell them that their plastic battery powered rock isn’t biodegradable and that their beacon of virtue signaling is increasing their carbon footprint. That they could’ve just you know…breathed like they were always breathing and picked up a rock on the ground for zero dollars. I bet they make a similar face as when you tell them that they can’t really be for carbon taxes and poor people at the same time because carbon taxes disproportionally impact poor people by making energy more expensive.

It’s a tough place to be.

The only real beneficial thing to take away from that 55 second instructional video on how to use the glow rock is from the 45 second to 50 second mark. “Put it back in your pocket and carry on with your day”. Skip all the other bullshit, shut up, and carry on with your day because you know why…a) this thing doesn’t work and b) nobody cares.