Blackhawks Fans Are Staring The Worst Hockey Season Ever Right In The Mouth

Just when we thought this season couldn’t get any worse, look where we are after one round + one game

We lost our Cup. We lost our Coach. OUR PETS HEADS ARE FALLING OFF. Look at that field remaining. The entire West is just made up of division rivals, and the East as Teravainen and TVR, Leddy, and Panarin. Everywhere we look there is a bitter pill to swallow as the Blackhawks are sitting at home by mid April for the 4th straight year. Joel is out, and another prime season of Toews and Kane were wasted and yet the pain hasn’t even slowed. And in fact we are on our way to something far far worse.

The only thing worse than seeing your friends happy is seeing your enemies happy. The internet has made almost every aspect of being a sports fan better, but this is the one scenario where twitter makes it exponentially worse. I  don’t have any Blues fan friends in real life. I know a few Bruins fans, but I talk to them sporadically. In a non-internet, non-Barstool alternate universe I wouldn’t be happy with current state of things, but I could largely ignore it. Well there’s one thing I can’t ignore that is YP dancing with a fancy rodent in my face while being shirtless

Or Pres doing his troll Bruins troll hockey fan stuff

Are both things objectively funny. Sure. Do I want them both dead? You betcha. If we get a Blues-Bruins Final…I don’t know what I’ll do. I watch sports to escape from the misery of every day life. If it’s Boston-STL I will have no safe spaces. I would say I would kill myself, but after what happened to WSD I can’t go around making threats in hyperbole, but that is how I’ll feel. Absolute best case scenario is San Jose playing Carolina in the Final so nobody will watch and we can just pretend that 2018-19 never even happened. No STL ending their streak. They’d still be losers. No Boston sweep of pro sports. Just a year that people will only ever talk about if they’re asked a trivia question. Go Sharks, Go Canes(I guess). Fuck the Blues.