Last Night Mets Fans Saw The Edwin Diaz That American League Fans Have Been Telling Us About

Good morning, good afternoon, and good night to the heart of the vaunted Phillies lineup in 11 pitches to win an extra innings game on the road. Nothing but straight filth and fire from the guy fans of American League teams have been telling me was the best closer in baseball since the Mets traded for Edwin Diaz. Even Rhys Hoskins bent the knee.

I think I am like many baseball fans when it comes to following Major League Baseball. I pretty much stay in my own bubble of watching all of my team’s games, casually follow some players around the league that I have in fantasy baseball, and learn about who else is awesome through all the highlights people are freely allowed post on Twitter watching whatever highlights are allowed to be tweeted from the few people that have the EXPRESS WRITTEN CONSENT OF MAJOR LEAGUE BASEBALL to post videos. Do I think people like Carrabis that can happily watch an entire Pirates-Royals game in August are crazy? Maybe. But he probably thinks people like me are crazy for having their entire week ruined based on which knight or dragon died on a television show on Sunday night or considering the RedZone Channel a better invention than sliced bread. We are all either crazy about some stupid shit in life or are boring as hell.

Anyway, I didn’t know much about Diaz since I have probably watched 2 Mariners games that didn’t involve the Mets or the playoffs since Ken Griffey Jr. left town and was sleeping for I’d guess 80% of his 57 saves last season. But the bottom line is that Edwin Diaz is just as dirty as the fans of the AL teams he haunted told us he was after the Mets stopped adding prospects to the deal that at first appeared to be a wild salary swap with Jay Bruce and Robinson Cano. Once Mets fans had come to grips with the team being responsible for Cano’s salary into his 40s and the fear of relying on a shaky bullpen to get to their fancy new closer, we were pretty fucking happy about having a guy that people telling us was pure filth and maybe the best closer in the game. Diaz has been effective so far this year by putting out the 5 alarm blazes that the gasoline gang in the bullpen have been lighting on the bridge between our starter and our freak. However last night was the first time where you said “Oh shit, this guy is the real deal”. No whispers of Diaz getting Benitezitis like other Mets closers have after changing into orange and blue. Instead we have a terrifying monster that I am nicknaming “It” for now because

A) I don’t know what else to call the type of hell his right arm is capable of unleashing

B) He is even scarier to batters than that sick fuck Pennywise is to kids

C) We can say Put It in the game and then he can put it in the books, especially since it doesn’t sound like the Mets will be using him as a stopper like Mickey Callaway did with Andrew Miller in Cleveland or as anything more than a closer

Jeurys Familia to the front office once the Mets are riding the Familiacoaster during meaningful games in Queens come July, August, or dare I say September:

I know Mets fans are upset about this because I was beside myself watching Robert Gsellman walk in that tying run last night while Diaz sat in the pen. I don’t want to lose April games just a season after the play-in games proved just how much every win matters because we didn’t use maybe the best bullpen arm in the league due to it not being the baseball dictionary definition of a save situation. But this is the crazy train we all signed up to ride whenever the sick and twisted baseball gods made us Mets fans. If watching Diaz neuter batters can only one inning at a time, I guess I’ll have to live with it if that is the type of result we are going to end up with.

TL;DR- The Mets have a closer and he is fucking disgusting. But if you watched the video at the top of this blog, you already knew that.

Popular in the Community