A Florida Man Who Just Bought An $8 Million Dollar Island Is Accused Of Stealing A $55 Coffee Maker From K Mart

ABC - A Florida man was arrested on Saturday for shoplifting at a Kmart, just days after he purchased a multi-million-dollar private island off Key West.

Andrew Lippi, 59, was accused of stealing about $300 worth of household goods from a Kmart in Key West, where police said he purchased various items between March 30 and April 4, replaced them with cheaper items and returned them for a refund.

Lippi made headlines last week when he purchased Thompson Island, a private estate formerly owned by the philanthropist and developer Edward B. Knight, for $8 million, according to ABC Miami affiliate WPLG.

Lippi also owns a 12-bedroom resort compound in Key West that MTV used to film a season of “The Real World” in 2006. That property rents for about $1,800 a night on Airbnb, WPLG reported.

Lippi stands accused of stealing multiple items, including LED light bulbs and a $55 Hamilton Beach coffee maker, which he allegedly “replaced with a much older coffee maker” and returned for a full refund, according to the Key West Police Department.

Police said Lippi also bought a $150 Keurig coffee machine on March 30, returned it and received a full refund a day later. Kmart employees notified the store’s loss prevention officer after realizing the coffee machine box instead contained a basketball, according to police.

What a story. This guy is seemingly the King of Key West seeing that he owns the old Real World House and an $8 million dollar island, but that doesn’t stop him from putting a damn basketball in a box to get a free $150 dollar Keurig.

It’s pretty clear to me that this situation is one of two things:

A) For love of the game type deal. This is this dudes high. He needs to be stealing $55 dollar Hamilton Beach coffee makers like his Toyota Tacoma needs 22 gallons of unleaded to feel right. This guy wakes up everyday, lights up his Newport 100 then walks into his garage to look for shit to put in a box that he can get K Mart to believe is an appliance that was bought there. That’s just his process. It makes him feel alive. That true Winona Ryder gene.

or

B) The guy is cheap as fucking sin. I can’t stand cheap people to begin with, but when you mix in that he’s a multi-millionaire it really makes me hate this dude. I’m not crying for K-Mart by no means, but if this is one of those dudes that has all the money in the world, but refuses to spend the extra $5 a month to get an HD Comcast box than I fucking hate his guts.

Get a fake look-a-like of Johnny Bananas during his Key West days out there for a night at a Bachelorette Party or some shit. That’s a much better/funnier scam than it is to put a coffee maker from 1994 into a new box.

Final Verdict: It’s too hard to tell. If it’s Option A than I guess do you if that’s what gets your rocks off. If it’s Option B than I hope he gets tied to that “Most Southern Part Of The USA…90 Miles to Cuba” post for the next 10 years.