This Monkey Will Absolutely Ruin Your Day If It Wants To
Move over Arnold Schwarzenegger and “Saturday Night Live’s” Hans and Franz – this monkey wants to “pump you up.”
A Finnish photographer snapped this remarkable image of a muscular monkey while visiting the Korkeasaari Zoo in Helsinki.
Thirty-four-year-old Santeri Oksanen said he couldn’t believe his eyes when looking at the powerful primate. “I couldn’t believe the huge muscles that the monkey had,” Oksanen said in comments obtained by SWNS. “The other monkeys were very small in comparison, they all looked a bit scared of her.”
Uhhh ya think? You think the other monkeys were scared of her? Maybe because she can pile drive them through the bottom of their cage and down into the Earth’s crust at any moment. They have to be paying the zookeepers here at least 3 times the amount of anywhere else due to the fact that the monkey they have to take care of can probably decide it wants to run the zoo itself whenever they it to and put them out of a job immediately.
This type of monkey is known as a White Faced Saki and I think we have the makings of a great wrestler here if we can somehow get it to not snap any audience members in half. The potential for a signature move called the “Saki Bomb” has to at least be enough to warrant a Vince McMahon meeting. Braun Strowman would be running for the hills when this thing’s music hits. Hell in a Cell matches but instead of a regular chain link cage they just throw someone in the monkey cage at the Korkeasaari Zoo in Helsinki? Terrifying.
Now I’m stuck in a time warp of googling muscular monkeys on a Friday afternoon. These things would RUN THROUGH their weight class in the UFC. Goddamn!!!
