R. Kelly's Spirit Told Him To Do That Interview Where He Looked Like Absolute Maniac

According to TMZ:

R Kelly ?has a bizarre reason for going on national TV to address the sexual abuse allegations against him … his “spirit” wanted him to speak his truth.
Sources close to the singer tell TMZ … R. Kelly sat down with Gayle King because he is in constant touch with his “spirit” and tends to listen to it more than the people around him. He also said he felt he owed it to himself and his fans to break his silence and tell his side.

Of course, Kelly quickly went off the rails in the CBS interview — his first public comments since being arrested on 10 counts of aggravated sexual abuse — shouting in Gayle’s face, exploding at the cameras, calling his accusers liars and wearing his emotions on his sleeve.

Can you imagine how jealous R. Kelly’s publicist is of R. Kelly’s spirit right now?

“Listen R., the best thing we can do right now is keep you out of the spotlight & lay low.”

“Sorry but my spirit is telling me to have a Tom-Cruise-jumps-on-Oprah’s-couch type moment, but weirder & angrier & 100x more viral.”

Rumor has it he’s also writing music right now ‘to cope’ with the fallout. Looking forward to that, especially coming from the same guy who wrote the deepest song of 1993.

[Chorus]
I, I, I, I like the crotch on you
I want the crotch on you
I need the crotch on you
So tell me what you’re gonna do
I, I like the crotch on you
I want the crotch on you
I need the crotch on you
So tell me what you’re gonna do

And lest we forget the 2004 classic, Bang Baby.

Baby, baby, baby, let’s bang
bang, bang, bang, baby,
on your bootie drum
where doody come from
all night long
bang your gong
baby, baby, baby, let’s bang
all night long
eel monster dong
I’m talking about having sex where you poop
baby, baby, baby, let’s bang

Wowzers, that spirit is really something.

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