TikTok Thursdays
In case you missed Week 1 (Detailed explanation of the app) Week 2 Week 3,Week 4, Week 5, Week 6, Week 7, Week 8 or Week 9 of Tiktok Thursdays, I do some deep dives on this app to find some of the weirdest content I can find for you guys. This week has some real doozies, and I have KB and Kate back to help me out. Reminder that Barstool Sports is now in the TikTok game, and we’ve basically had the biggest growth in the game thanks to the brain trust team of Logan, Quigs, Kate and I.
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1.
Kenjac: I stand by my caption. Fit stealing is the capital crime committed by this oaf.
KB: I’m transcribing this into a run-on status and doing Ariana Grande numbers on Facebook.
Kate: Men are only interested in one thing, and apparently it’s not tooth care.
2.
Kenjac: When she comes through with the gas to chill>>>
KB: I’d love nothing more than to believe that this was a blanket statement, but I have a gut feeling that her message was directed at a specific sexual partner, or even scarier, partners plural.
Kate: ::When he hits it so good u need the oxygen tank::
3.
Kenjac: Hey mom can you hold the camera while I do vertical pushups on an iceberg and sing racial epithets?
KB: Someone’s severely inebriated 17-year-old daughter got sexually assaulted by this man at a Club H2O foam party in Ocean City. Ignorance is bliss.
Kate: This is the only time I’ve rooted for Global Warming. Wanted that iceberg to melt right quick.
4.
Kenjac: TFW you see a barrel of Crude
KB: Waterboarding. Oxygen deprivation. Tooth extraction. Impalement. Chinese water torture. Watching this video on a continuous loop.
Kate: This is a war crime.
5.
Kenjac:
Kate: It looks like he glued some Spanish moss from that swamp to his chin.
KB: The Hillzz Have Eyezz
6.
Kenjac: This is actually the audition tape that got SNL to hire Colin Jost
KB: I’m hopeful that this performance was the catalyst for a Golden Corral double date.
Kate: When you look like dorks in the beginning, but then SURPRISE, you turn out to be even bigger dorks.
7.
Kenjac: No words.
KB: Ladies, wyd if this man shows up to your apartment party and woos you with R&B (Rohypnol & Benzodiazepines)?
Kate: Who wants a mustache ride?! ::dead silence::
8.
Kenjac: I’d rather see the picture of the guy fucking the McChicken than ever watch this again.
KB: If I Eternal Sunshined TikTok from my memory and then watched this, I’d almost certainly audibly gasp. But unfortunately, I just watched this like I was watching a
Kate: BRB, just threw up in my mouth a little bit.
9.
Kenjac: I’ve posted this couple many times and they unironically rule. Knowing that they are staunch confederates that live in Rhode Island has only made me like them 200x more to be honest.
KB: Evanincest
Kate: They’re way behind the times with that song. (And that flag.)
10.
KB: I can tell by this man’s face alone that there’s a flash drive in his home that’s worth hundreds of years in prison.
Kate: Just recordin’ a little tune as we take the long way around the school I can’t go near!
11.
Kenjac: I know house Stark has been through some shit but this isn’t the answer.
KB: Okay? But if a skinny, attractive couple did this it would be “okay” for me to get a boner???
Kate: Moments after this Mom yelled down to let them know the pizza rolls were ready.
12.
Kenjac: Zac Efron WHOMST?!?!?!
KB: If MLK had a fever dream.
Kate: Haters hate… I like this one! You do you, wacky couple.
13.
Kenjac: When your mom says you can’t listen to XXXTentacion anymore.
KB: This video smells like Ohio.
Kate: When Dad says you can’t bring ice cream up to your room.
14.
Kenjac: I hate this video and apparently the person who posted it made a clapback video at me for making fun of them. Not linking them but I’m proud to say that’s the second hit piece video a youtuber has made about me in the last month so I think I’m doing pretty well.
KB: I addressed this on Twitter already, but it cannot be overstated that there are certain instances where it’s justifiable and morally correct to humanely kill people.
Kate: This makes me want to go inject Crisco right into my veins out of spite.
15.
Kenjac: I know this is KFC’s favorite guy so I’ll let him take the reigns.
KB: The Ansel Elgort of Megan’s Law.
Kate: Small town Hollywood!!!
16.
Kenjac: So I guess ‘the boys from brazil’ was actually a documentary?
KB: This guy is like 10 different high school archetypes blended together. God did DMT and then went wild with the Create A Player feature.
Kate: I’m just gonna say it. Are we sure Hitler doesn’t have a hipster grandson running around in the boonies out there?
17.
Kenjac: Using your kids as props for a social media video actually is awesome and very cool. I applaud you, soul patch man.
KB: This actually made me somber. Those poor girls aren’t so far behind their peers academically and socially because of lack of drive or effort.
Kate: This video is going to explain alot to her therapist someday.
I post some tiktok threads straight to my insta to prevent meme accounts from stealing them if you want to check them out here. Also, go vote for the best movie from New Jersey by the way. If the embedded form doesn’t work, click here.