"Bang With SXSW" Is The New App To Help People Fuck At South By Southwest

NYDN – Austin’s annual music, film and interactive fest South by Southwest (SXSW) — dubbed spring break for geeks — now has a whole new way for attendees to hook up with each other, a sex app called Bang with SXSW, a spinoff of the recently launched Bang with Friends. Bang with Friends, launched by three twenty-somethings, allows users to sign up for the service via Facebook and select “friends” you’d like to have sex with. If that person selects you, then it’s game on. According to reports, Bang with Friends, which launched at the end of January, has gained 750,000 users so far, with about 180,000 pairs who have been successfully matched. The SXSW version simplifies hooking up at SXSW, something that presumably isn’t that hard to do in the first place. But the group says it is also focusing on promoting safer sex by handing out thousands of condoms across the city. Bang with Friends isn’t the only app to tap into SXSW’s hookup culture, writes TechCrunch. Social network Qpid is relying on SWSW as a way to get users to share their sexual health status to help keep it safe in the bedroom.

I guess this is gonna be the new trend huh? Just a whole franchise of “Bang With…” Apps at various events to help people get fucked. Next we’ll hear about “Bang With Comic Con.” “Bang With The Super Bowl.” Anywhere theres ever gonna be a group of people, there’s an app to help you get fucked.

I like the idea. I love the notion behind it. But here’s the thing – the world has become such a big pussy with these apps and online services. What about the good old days when people weren’t afraid to just proclaim they wanted to fuck in order to get fucked? Whatever happened to the dude who put his nose to the grindstone and went out with the do-or-die goal of getting laid? What about the depressed and insecure girl who gets shitfaced with the strict intent of slutting it up for the night to feel good about herself and then regret it in the morning? Now you gotta have apps and “friends” and “followers” and “connections” and “links” on the internet before you get your dick wet. I know for the past few years all this social media shit has actually made it easier in the short term – but we’re opening Pandora’s Box here. In the longterm here we’re just adding a middle man.  Think about your children and your children’s children. Can’t we all just agree that we’re horny at all times and should do away with  all the pleasantries and all the networks and be able to ask people striaght up if they want to fuck?

I’m gonna make an app called “Pandora’s Box” and you open it up and all it says is “Stop being a pussy and go up to the girl you want to fuck and ask her “Do you want to fuck?” 99 cents a pop. I’ll be a hundredaire when its all said and done.