BREAKING: Bryce Harper Is Coming To The Phillies!!!

RING THE GODDAMN BELL! 13-years, $330 with a probable opt-out pending NO OPT OUT HOLY HELL. I don’t know if I’d commit to ANYTHING for 13-years. Regardless, look at this (potential) lineup now. LOOK AT IT!!!

2B Hernandez
SS Segura
C JT
RF Harper
1B Rhys
LF McCutch
3B Franco
CF Odubel

BENCH:

C Knapp (very capable backup catcher)
OF Nick Williams (should probably start on most clubs)
OF Roman Quinn (a helluva potential ballplayer if he can ever stay healthy)
UTL INF Kingrey (could take over Franco’s starting 3B spot but is a GREAT glove at SS and 2B, too, just has a bat of a toothpick)

That lineup has the potential to be STACKED. Odubel was hitting out of the three hole for the better part of his career and can get hotter than the sun. Now he’s going to be batting 7-9! HOLY HELL! Combine this with the above average starting pitching staff and an upgraded bullpen and BOOM! RING THE GODDAMN BELL AGAIN BABY!!!

PS – Solid work Dirty Bob! You still almost did your job this morning! You’re off the list!

PSS – So close, Smitty! Just had the teams wrong! Condolences, Nats Fans, all 18 of you! You can always go back to rooting for those O’s!