Are We Sure Jacoby Ellsbury Hasn't Been Kidnapped or Murdered?

I mean the jokes write themselves at this point. Aaron Boone just had his opening press conference for the beginning of spring training. His first report? Ellsbury is hurt. I genuinely laughed out loud.

Have you seen the show ‘You?’ If you haven’t it’s about some psychopath who kidnaps people and eventually kills them. He works in a book store, and in the basement of that book store he has a soundproof cage where he stows his victims away until he decides what to do with them.

The reason I bring this up is because I think that’s what Brian Cashman is doing to Jacoby Ellsbury. We haven’t heard or seen Jacoby since 2017. Since that point we’ve heard that he’s injured his oblique, hip, foot, and back. He was shutdown from undergoing any baseball activities during last spring training. Then all of a sudden in August he underwent labrum surgery on his hip. He literally wasn’t moving at all for months and then hurt his hip even more? Remarkable stuff.

Now it’s 2019 and well….he’s still here. His contract is still a gigantic burden on everyone and no one wants him around.

The Yankees have a five man outfield of Judge, Stanton, Hicks, Gardner, and Clint Frazier ready to go. There is absolutely no role for Ellsbury on this team, and yet he’s still hanging around…or is he?

What if he’s actually dead or being held against his will? What if Brian Cashman had enough with his nonsense and locked him away in the basement of a book store? Anytime Cashman or Boone are asked about Jacoby they come up with another injury to brush the media away. Today it was plantar fascia in his foot. He won’t report to Tampa this month and will set a return date sometime in March…for now.

I think Jacoby was murdered and the Yankees are playing it off like he’s just continually banged up. It is IMPOSSIBLE for a human being to be this hurt without doing anything. Why would murdering Jacoby do the Yankees any good? Well, he’d be off the active roster and they’d be able to continue to recoup insurance money for the extensive time he’s missed. Everyone has wondered why the Yanks haven’t just DFA’d him, like what the Blue Jays did with Tulo’s contract. Well, why bite the bullet if you don’t have to?

I refuse to believe Jacoby Ellsbury still exists. I hope MLB HQ doesn’t get a hold of this blog. I may have just outed the team on their elaborate plan. Fuck.

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