Jason Dufner Lost Some Weight And I Absolutely Hate It

What the hell Duf? What happened to fat boys 4 life? We’re not doing that anymore? Come on. We all loved jolly Dufner. That’s what made you so cool. You were us, just really really good at golf. You were a fat guy who loved college football, packing huge dips, and banging his blazing hot wife (we just liked dreaming about that part). You were a role model for all the average dudes in the world who drink too much, can’t touch their toes and haven’t seen their dick in a few months. I hope this was just a cold or something. I hope you just lost weight because you were sick for a few weeks because I don’t think I can handle any more weight loss. If this is the beginning I’m out. You’re teetering on the edge of weird Jonah Hill range. Everyone hates that guy. Gotta stay fat, just have to. Can’t let this whole new “skinny culture” take you down. Stay strong and eat some french fries or something.

thanks to John for the tip, chicagotips@barstoolsports.com