Chicago Dog Walk Listener Emails - Horror Stories of the First Time People Dipped
You’re well aware of this by now, but in case of the slim chance you’re not, Eddie hosts a 15 minute quick hitter podcast called the Chicago Dog Walk. It’s not just Chicago happenings, however, it’s just whatever is on the mind of Eddie. Myself, Carl and Chief rotate in a time or two a week, and then he goes and interviews the most random people on the planet. So far he’s interviewed a deli owner where they talked about gabagool and prosciutto, a Burger King manager, Chance the Rapper’s manager, a UPS driver and he has a mailman, butcher, and other ancillary people we come across in our day to day lives. It’s the best 15 minutes of everyone’s day. Eddie kills it.
So on Tuesday Eddie and I were getting ready to record an episode for Wednesday drop and we had nothing to talk about. So I said “let’s throw in a lip and get our creative juices flowing.” Eddie acquiesced and then it dawned on me: let’s just talk about all things smokeless tobacco.
So we did, and it was fantastic. I asked Stoolies to flood our inbox with the horror stories of the first time they dipped. They also did not disappoint.
For me, it was peach Skoal at an iMax theatre. I threw in and buzzed my tits off. I didn’t puke, though I wish I would have, as I probably would have never done it again and I’d save about $50 a week. Stoolies on the other hand? They had a few different accounts of their first dip. So let’s go!
I was 18 and to celebrate my birthday I bought my first can because I was an “adult” and I could do what I want. I had planned to drive out to the local county fair and meet up with friends. So I grabbed my first pinch and took off on some windy back road. Trying to keep the car on the road while my head was fucking spinning was the closest I’ve ever been to dying. I made it safe and sound but I didn’t dip and drive for probably a few months out of fear of dying.
Sam R
When I was 16, I had just gotten my license and, like WSD, was hanging out with the older baseball crew. I end up throwing in a pretty large pinch of Copenhagen wintergreen (went on to be my dip of choice in college) and drove home from practice. To this day, I get motion-sick at the drop of a hat and I’ve never gotten so fucked up by driving than my first dip. I throw out the chew up the street from my parents house, run inside drenched in sweat and of course someone is in the bathroom… So I sprint into my room and just start puking everywhere. Told my parents “that damn Sonic in the Bluffs gave me food poisoning. Everyone’s sick.” I don’t think I ever told them the real story.
Kyle Y
Sam R and Kyle Y, you’re both a PSA for all first time dippers. DO NOT get in a car and drive. Sure, you’ll pass a breathalyzer, but you’ll put your life and others at risk. Shit makes you feel like your drunk off your ass the first few times you do it.
Dave, Eddie,
First dip, bus on the way to Louisiana freshman year at north central. Seniors made me and the 4 other freshman throw in a grizzly wintergreen pinch. Spewed all over the fucking bus bathroom. Clean though real clean vomit. I don’t think anyone knew. Maybe they did i don’t know. But i powered through became a full fledged dipper. Grizz wintergreen for life. Picked up on Billy’s habit of red man for a long time while playing for the Wheaton WS. Still pick up a pouch of red man for men’s softball. You have to you.
Oh not to mention our dinner that night was Papa Johns and a 2 liter split with another player on the bus. I am still woozy thinking about it.
Matt R
Shout out Wheaton White Sox. Best collegiate summer team in Illinois. But yes – dipping for the first time and driving on a greyhound do NOT mix. Recipe for disaster. You’ll feel like that sponge bob meme:
Dave and Eddie,
Love what you guys are doing, keep up the good work. I’ve got a first time dip story for you. Bang Bang.
My first “real” job was working on the grounds crew of our local golf course when I was 15. We’d bust our asses from 6 am to about noon, play golf the rest of the day, and raid the kitchen for leftover brats and dogs and burgers. Best job I ever had.
We had a big storm the night before and a huge oak tree falls on the third tee box. Me and the other younger guys are tasked with cutting up the tree and hauling it away. It’s me, one hockey player from my high school and one baseball player from a neighboring school. It’s like 95 degrees, humid as fuck, and we’re cutting up this massive tree in between groups teeing off. They’re chewing Skoal Mint, offer me one, and I toss in my first dip because I didn’t want to seem like a pussy (I was). So I’m slinging a chainsaw spinning my dick off for ten minutes before I have to lay down. The Super comes over while I’m face down on the tee box, all three of them are laughing their asses off at me. Glad I didn’t cut off a hand that day.
Still chasing that first time buzzed feeling. Grizz wintergreen gang for life.
Fuck Dente. Cheers boys.
Alex in Wicker Park
I really feel for Alex in Wicker Park here. 95 degrees, working manual labor and dipping for the first time is not a good combo, and it’s especially not a good combo when you add in the fact that all 15-16 year olds are massive pussies who can’t handle their shit. Surprised Alex didn’t shit his pants with that kind of heat.
What’s going on guys
Got a dip story similar to the NFL player for a certain team you guys talked about on the podcast. (By the way Eddie the podcast is fuckin great, Burger King manager and Deli guy were all time)
I was in I think 7th grade. My Dad has dipped my whole life. He would spit into an old tea bottle. His desk happened to kind of be attached to our kitchen. One day my Mom is making my lunch and she sees the half full spit bottle and instead of giving me a nice unopened cold tea bottle from the fridge she has the brilliant idea to save some tea, she takes my Dad’s spit bottle (I’m guessing she didn’t put two and two together, she must’ve thought it was a half drunken tea) and then combines that spit with tea.
I open my lunch and I notice the tea looks a little weird. I can see shit in it but thought it was just the stuff that is in tea. I take about 3 sips and I’m like this doesn’t taste right. So I’m like fuck that tea and throw it away. Next class my friends were saying I looked white as a ghost. I was not feeling well. Finished out the day, not a big deal. My Mom picks me up and asks how was school, I responded well it appears you tried to poison me. She just laughed it up. I spend that next hour at home throwing up in the toilet. Did not drink tea for a long time.
So that’s my dip story. I don’t dip at all, never tried. Even though it was always at my disposal since my Dad always dipped.
That day still grosses me out.
You guys have a good one and stay warm up there. Viva
Daniel G
Nothing worse than downing warm, tepid, thick ass dip spit by accident. Friend of mine got in trouble in HS for shooting fireworks off out in St. Charles. The police called his house after his plates were reported so he bolted home after ditching his remaining fireworks. His mom dug through his car and found a spitter. She brought it inside and said “this is booze isn’t it!” while proceeding to take a swig of it. Needless to say she puked her brains out and he got grounded. Oh the horrors!
Fellas,
It was the day before I left for my freshman year of college. Playing in a quads sand volleyball tournament and we decided to throw one in before the finals. Grizz wintergreen pouches. Didn’t throw up but was spinning like crazy. Was absolutely useless for the first game – told my friend to not even set me, had a whiff on serve receive. 10/10 would recommend.
Keep up the good #content
If you would have puked I’m sure you would have blended in just fine with the other 16 year olds who can’t handle their booze/tobacco at North Ave Beach
Hey guys,
So the first time I ever dipped was at the cubs rally in the middle of Grant Park. It was about 8 am and we had been boozing since we jumped on the 5:50 train. My buddy pulled it out and offered it, I admitted I had never tried it before but he insisted nonetheless. I tried it and felt the buzz and I realized why people did it for about 3 minutes. What followed was an awful taste and the most nausea I have ever experienced. I had no choice and couldn’t ignore the fact that I was about to puke so I just let it go. I backed up a little as to create a small circle of space between the masses of people and let that shit go. Stepped around it and pushed our way further into the crowd, avoided it, and went about our day.
Love your guys work and am incredibly excited about the further success of barstool Chicago!
Ed S
That’s what you get for being a Cubs fan, asshole!
And the next one is the longest, but the best one yet. I was in straight tears reading this:
Fellas – Enjoying the dog walk series, and the dip episode hit close to home being that I’m an avid dipper. As you all mentioned, you never forget your first dip and this is a long one. I’m now 30 year olds and still dip everyday, but have never dipped Skoal Citrus since this incident nearly 15 years ago…
I was a sophomore in high school and playing fall baseball with the junior/senior team. Naturally I thought I was the man because I was playing up with Varsity, and naturally I was a moron young kid who was susceptible to peer pressure from the upper classmen. We were in the middle of a doubleheader on a blistering hot Saturday in the early fall, must’ve been at least 88/92 degrees out. I had pitched the first game of the double header and assumed I wasn’t going to be in the lineup for the second game. As you all probably know, in between games there’s about a 30-45 minute break where typically you eat some lunch, say hey to you parents, whatever. Couple of the guys were throwing in lips and asked if I wanted to try, gave me the run down of well you might get sick, blah blah. I said fuck it there’s no way I’m playing this second game so I’ll try it.
One of the guys packs a can of Skoal Citrus, and I go for it. Throw a dip in, feeling cool, all good…then it hits me, I have to take a massive shit. The dip ran right through me and got my insides going to take a good old fashioned dip shit. Of course at most baseball fields its either a porta-potty or a concrete stall with zero air flow, and on a 90+ degree day that’s not ideal pooping conditions. I jogged (sprinted) to the bathroom and took the biggest shit of my life, in full uniform, while sweating absolute bullets in the bathroom that was 150 degrees with cheap single ply toilet paper that falls apart once it touches your sweaty ass. It’s what I imagine taking a dump in the desert would feel like. Anyways, in the middle of all this I still have the dip in and am becoming more and more lightheaded by the second.
I lose complete track of time and one of my teammates comes down to the bathroom looking for me because I’m hitting leadoff in the second game…of course. I can’t make it out of the bathroom, miss my AB, and am subsequently benched for the rest of the game. I was ghostly white once I finally made it out of the bathroom and back to the dugout, but I was proud of myself for never puking and only shitting my brains out for the past 45 minutes. The coach most definitely knew what was going on and just laughed at me when he said I missed my at bat and am sitting this game out.
Fast forward a few hours, I’m finally home and hop in the shower. I go to use my shampoo, and once I’m washing my hair I quickly realize the smell of my shampoo smells EXACTLY like Skoal Citrus. The smell hits my senses like a freight train and immediately triggers me to throw up while in the shower. So it turns out I was a pussy and threw up off my first dip.
Teddy Q
The term “dip shit” is actually real. People use it as a way to call people out for being morons, but it’s also an act in which dip makes you shit your pants. If you don’t know how to handle it, it’s deadly. One second you’re a fully functioning, healthy human being and the next your stomach is doing summersaults and you’re looking for the nearest place to relieve yourself. It’s like the brown noise from South Park. You have ZERO control of your bowels and it’s horrifying. Nothing, not one thing, matters when you have to take a dip shit. It’s the most helpless feeling ever. Teddy Q, you win this round of 1st time Dip stories.
So there you have it. Make sure you all subscribe, rate and review to Eddie’s Dog Walk, and should you own a Barstool Gold account, feel free to leave your 1st time dip stories in the comments.
Enjoy your weekend everyone! Buy a Chicago Flag