Senator Rand Paul Awarded $580,000 From The Neighbor Who Tackled Him Over A Landscaping Argument

AP News- U.S. Sen. Rand Paul was awarded more than $580,000 in damages and medical expenses on Wednesday in his lawsuit against the neighbor who tackled him and broke several of his ribs in a dispute over lawn maintenance.

Paul had testified during the three-day trial that he feared for his life as he struggled to breathe after Rene Boucher, an anesthesiologist by trade, slammed into him in their upscale Bowling Green neighborhood in late 2017.

Boucher has already served a 30-day prison sentence after pleading guilty to assaulting a member of Congress.

Boucher told the jury that he attacked Paul after watching the senator begin forming a brush pile near their property line.

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Riggs blogged this when the tackle happened back in 2017. Today, after more than a year of lengthy court battles, thrown rakes, blown leaf piles, and midnight missions to dump weed killer all over the other’s lawn, a court has awarded over $580,000 to Rand Paul. Thank goodness, too. This dude has been taking blindside hits since 2016.

Unfortunately, it’s tough to feel bad for him because his haircut is so preposterous. Dude, you look like Joel Osteen if he ever broke up with God.

It’s a fantastic story. What’s not to love? When you’re a middle-aged man living in the suburbs, your yard is your pride and joy. The testimony says that Rand Paul was creating brush piles near the border between their properties. I have to believe he was right on the edge. Might have even kicked a few sticks across the line for good measure. Of course, Boucher was watching out his window, grinding his teeth and whisper-screaming under his breath “don’t you do it motherfucker.” Next thing you know, he’s tearing across the lawn like Jadaveon Clowney coming through the line. Dude put everything he had into that hit, and Paul never saw (or heard) it coming.

The question is, how much would you pay for that moment of satisfaction? $580K + 30 days in county is a pretty steep price tag. But then again, I’ve never had a lawn, so I can’t know the pain and anger of watching your jerry-curled neighbor fuck with you on that level.