Does This Look Like The Face Of A Delaware Man Arrested For Walking Around His Yard Naked While Jerking Off All Over His Lawn?

DOVER — A Delaware man was arrested after he was accused of performing a lewd act while naked in his backyard. Gregory N. Kotzar is facing several charges following his arrest in Dover on Tuesday. According to investigators, several female employees of a dental office on Wolf Creek Boulevard told them they observed Kotzar walking around his backyard naked and masturbating.

Hey Greg, why the long face? Oh, that’s right. You just got pinched by a couple dental hygienists for chucking sauce all over your lawn. I suppose I’d be a little down in the dumps, too.

Dude took his glasses off, set the pitchfork down and stepped right out the American Gothic painting to do much needed yard work. Can’t hate it. At least Gregory’s the type of man’s man who takes pride in his grass. TruGreen knows not to do anything with his property because Greg only uses that pristine, 100% all natural stuff to seed his lawn. Greenest grass in all of Delaware. I’d like to see Rust Cohles walk up on Greg’s turf and try to mow his lawn without getting shot or a money shot. Not gonna happen.