HALLELUJAH: Conversation Candy Sweethearts Will Not Be Available For Valentine's Day This Year

CNBC- America’s favorite Valentine’s Day candy won’t be available this year. Sweethearts, the conversation heart candy, is missing from shelves this Valentine’s season after its original producer went out of business last year. Sweethearts, the conversation heart candy, is missing from shelves this Valentine’s season after its original producer went out of business last year. Even though consumers might think chocolate when it comes to buying a Valentine’s gift for a loved one, Candystore.com reported that conversation hearts were the most popular candy for the holiday in 2018. The popularity of the candy didn’t keep its original producer, New England Confectionary Company, also known as Necco, from going out of business in July. 

Spangler’s best-known candy is its Dum Dum lollipops. The candy company acquired the brands in September and did not have the time to produce the conversation hearts for this Valentine’s Day. “There are a lot of manufacturing challenges and unanswered questions at this point, and we want to make sure these brands meet consumer expectations when they re-enter the market,” Spangler Chairman and CEO Kirk Vashaw said in a statement announcing the acquisition.

FANTASTIC NEWS. Really great news. It has been reported that nearly zero people are upset about this news because the candy sweethearts are disgusting and an insult to all other types of candy. If you enjoy the candy sweethearts, you shouldn’t be allowed to celebrate Valentine’s Day anyway because you are undeserving of love. Everyone who says they love you actually don’t because it’s impossible to love a monster who enjoys eating candy sweethearts. Not to mention the little sayings on the sweethearts shouldn’t be tied to your self worth. Grow up.

However, anybody who enjoys the sweethearts and will miss them this year can go to their local grocery store, buy a pack of sidewalk chalk and eat that because it’s the exact same thing. Imagine walking through the candy aisle at the store and picking those out. The cashier should citizen’s arrest anyone who buys them. I’d pick a fruit or vegetable before I picked those. Eat real candy, you idiots.