Banks' Winter Olympics Blog: Saturday February 15th


First of all, good morning to everyone drinking your coffee, reading this bright and early. Big day of crushing commies ahead of us, let’s get to it.

 

 

BOOM! Brand new ballgame. We’ll take it from here, Norway. Had a cute little run in Week 1, but you knew what this was. The way I see it, it’s us and the Russians the rest of the way, and maybe the Canadians too. As it should be. Let’s get to it.

 

The USA collected their lone medal Friday in Women’s skeleton. Noelle Pikus-Pace held her position from Thursday, taking home the silver. Fellow American Katie Uhlaender narrowly missed the podium by .04 seconds.

 

In the men’s event, the Greenwood family almost had their Christmas canceled.

 

USA curling lost to Russia by about an eighth of an inch, dropping their record to 2-4. Just a quick curling FYI, in this scenario the closest “stone” to the tiny black dot in the middle wins (Russia in red, USA in yellow). I’m not saying this was fixed, but I don’t hear anyone saying it wasn’t.

 

Tonight’s nightmare fuel is brought to you by Roberto Luongo.

 

Today is Jaromir Jagr’s birthday. Hope you choke on your birthday cake you creep.

 

Nobody told me Oscar from The Office was participating in the Olympics. Pretty vanilla move for the accountant, expected more flair.

 

Japan’s Yuzuru Hanyu won the gold in men’s figure skating. Go crazy, Yuzuru! Go crazy!

 

Hardooooo

 

Today the whole world is watching USA dominate some commies. Ovi, I love you, but you’re fucking dead to me. USA hockey is do or die. USA wins 15-0.

Let’s fucking go.

 

Today’s smoke: Gotta go American today. Ashley Wagner. Something about that GIF just gets me all primal


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